BURNING TOAST

The End. . .

2011-03-20T14:57:00.002-06:00

After much consideration, consternation, contemplation, lamentation, thinkamapacion, emergeration and constipation I have decided to shut down this blog.

I make this decision with a twinge of anger and sadness, but it is something that must be done for my general welfare. Life is about learning lessons and growing from the great mistakes, but I have not healed fully from last year's complete and total emotional meltdown. And I've asked and asked to be left in peace, yet some simply cannot let go, therefore I am breaking the connection so that I may fade into obscurity and anonymity.

I am currently working on establishing a new blog and it'll take a couple of weeks to get something worthy on there, only have 5 posts so far. So when I feel like I am ready, I'll let you all know where it is through email and for those of you who enjoy coming here, but I do not know personally, just drop me a line (email is brettwoods at yahoo dot com) and I'll make sure to add you to the list. The new blog will be me of course, just now in the deserved anonymity I require.

Thanks for your support and good luck to all of you. I'm outta here!

Take Off, Eh?

2011-03-10T08:59:00.000-06:00

The geese have returned. They been coming and going for the last few weeks, stopping by to snoop around, but never staying for very long. That is, until this past week. I assume the female is getting ready to prepare her nest and let's all hope that this years gaggle of gooslets survive.

I am thinking of naming them. Any suggestions? I like Bildergurd and Natasha. Just rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

Conceptual. . .

2011-03-10T08:49:00.000-06:00

The End - Russian Style

2011-02-22T16:09:00.001-06:00

There is plenty of commentary today about what to do with about the pirate problem around the waters of Somalia. These waters are by far the most dangerous on the planet and as today's gruesome events that ended with the murder of 4 American citizens indicates, negotiation is no longer an option.

The laws that govern activities on the high seas are old and in fact state that the captain of a ship has the last say when pirates are captured. In the old days, death was the punishment and this law still stands today.

The Russians apparently believe in these old laws as this video indicates. Piracy cannot be tolerated, should not be tolerated and in the end, for those who do not value life should feel glory in their deaths.

I used to always say the only two good things that have ever come out of Russia are vodka and good looking women. Now I am of a different opinion and long live Mother Russia as long as she continues to do the dirty work the rest of us don't have the balls to deal with.

Sidenote: the video at the link is graphic in nature and should not be viewed for pansy ass liberals who think we should dump more monetary and food aid into Somalia instead of raining death on their heads from above.

Lt. Colonel Allen West

2011-02-22T08:27:00.001-06:00

I am not a military guy, never joined, probably should have, but nevertheless, I have tremendous admiration for anyone who has ever served with honor. And I don't care if you cooked beans in the mess hall at some remote army base or led a full frontal assault on a machine gun in a suicide mission. It takes all of that for our military to work as it should and those that serve are owed the highest debt of gratitude.

There is a saying that goes, "Say what you mean and mean what you say." This is the embodiment of Lt. Colonel Allen West.

You don't fuck with The Jesus and you certainly don't fuck with The Lt. Colonel either.

Take that Islam!!!

- Sent from my iPhone

Power

2011-02-22T07:41:00.001-06:00

As the situation continues to descend into chaos in the Middle East and North Africa and the world waits to see what is to become of all that, very little is being made about the confrontational naval maneuvers of the Iranian Navy which is trying to pass two warships through the Suez Canal for the first time in decades.

Conflicting reports have briefly appeared here and there saying yes they passed through, no they didn't, they have been delayed, they made it, etc., etc.

Well, I have a few reasons as to why this may be:

Aircraft Carriers USS Enterprise, Keasarge, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Carl Vinson. Plus, guided missile destroyer USS Leyte Gulf and fast supply ship USNS Arctic.

What does this vast armada have to do with the situation? They are all within the happy confines of the Suez Canal and surrounding areas and may in fact board the Iranian ships as allowed under the auspices of the last round of UN sanctions.

It'll be interesting to see who flinches in this mighty stand off between the rights and wrongs of the world and chances are, it won't be us.

- Sent from my iPhone

Bombs For Allah

2011-02-16T11:28:00.001-06:00

Iranians warships are soon to pass through the Suez Canal on their way to Syria. You think Israel is gonna have anything to say about that?

Buy your beanie weenies now because this may be the beginning of the end-all, be-all mothers of mismanaged American foreign policy failures ever.

- Sent from my iPhone

Hump Day Music. . .

2011-02-16T07:48:00.000-06:00

My friend Melis Danişmend has released a new solo album after the breakup of her rock band Üçnoktabir. I've heard a few songs from this album and it is more souful, jazzy and vocal based than the hard driving rock of her other band. The following song, Bin Doz Öfke, which means A Thousand Doses of Anger, is a trippy little tune of just Melis' vocals and a nice piano accomp....accomp...you know, playing behind her.

Enjoy!

Snapshots of Mississippi

2011-02-15T10:14:00.001-06:00

Downtown Lexington, one of the prettiest town squares in the state.

My apologies for the giant windshield crack, but as anyone who lives here can tell you, it is a fact of life. Our asphalt roads and subbases are made from river-borne gravel which is generally round in shape. Once it gets worked loose from the road, they bumble along like bouncing balls and destroy thousands of windshields a day.

The Frozen Tundra

2011-02-11T07:59:00.002-06:00

This winter has been remarkably mild in Mississippi and relatively dry in comparison to last year. However, these last two weeks we have been on a roller coaster of warm, chilly, cold, frozen precipitation, warm again and now, just damn cold.

Of course, our winters are not nearly of the magnitude like in places further north, but most of you have never experienced our summers either. We are warm weather people. We are not used to snow and ice and sub 20 degree mornings. Just last Sunday I was outside pulling weeds in a pair of shorts. This morning I look like Ralphie's little brother in A Christmas Story.

In the Spanish language when referring to the weather, you use the verb "hacer", which means "to make or do." For example, "hace calor", literally translated means "it makes hot." Or "hace lluvia", "it makes rain." Well today it is most definitely making some cold here in Mississippi and I'm about sick of it.

It is almost time to start work on the spring garden, so Al Gore? Keep your damn mouth shut bucko!

And one other Spanish lesson before I go. Hacer is also used to abruptly declare things such as the desire to use the restroom. So it is not uncommon to hear someone say, at the dinner table perhaps, "yo hago piss!" Which means "I have to tee tee." But it is usually said in brusque force and can be difficult for a person like myself who would say something more delicate like, "Excuse me, I am going to the restroom," instead of announcing rudely exactly what I am going to be doing in there. Nothing destroys a lovely dinner like some dope exclaiming he is about to take a dump.

This was something I never quite got used to while living in Central America. Well, that and their lack of political correctness when it came to appearances. If you were ugly, they called you "feo" and if you were fat you were "gordo." If you were a black guy, that's exactly what they called you, "Hola Negro!" And even if you were mentally or physically handicapped, man, woman, or child, no one escaped the wrath of the name calling. But it was all accepted in good humor and in a way, I completely admire that.

Ok, lesson is over. Ustedes maricones pueden chupar la pene del diablo ahora!

- Sent from my iPhone

Fed Up

2011-02-10T15:01:00.003-06:00

I don't know about you folks, but I am totally fed up with the state of politics in our beloved country and the unhinged lunacy across our globe. One question: What the fuck is wrong with everyone??

I get up every morning to go to work. I work. Then I go home. I eat the food bought with my hard earned money and then I sleep. Sometimes, particularly on the weekends I let my hair down (which the chicks dig by the way) and I get running drunk at the local watering hole doing my best not to be toted out the door by any women larger than me. The next day I hurt. Then the next day I get up and go to work again.

In the spring, I plant a garden and I tend to the delicate plants and by mid summer I enjoy the fruits of my labor. If I have the desire, I launch my little john boat into the pond to do some fishing. I usually don't keep them. Sometimes I drag my 200 watt guitar amplifier out on the porch and and grind my guitar into the face of the wilderness. I keep to myself, mind my manners, hold doors open for men, women, children, old, disabled, whoever. I try not to speed, I am courteous to both neighbor and stranger alike. I give money to people without the expectation of repayment. I pay my taxes, I donate to charity, I cook food and give it away to the unsuspecting. I am not perfect, but I generally contribute to society in a positive fashion.

I have never cooked a baby in a microwave, strapped a bomb to a teenager and blew him up, overthrown a government, flown a plane into a building, hijacked a ship, refused to assimilate in another culture/country, incited violence, mooched off the taxpayers of this country, sold drugs to children, gone on a violent rampage with a gun, married a child, humped any kind of animal, participated in a trouble-causing flash mob, chopped the hand off a child, beheaded my wife, or convinced a kid to wear a bomb around his balls for God.

Hell, maybe I need to change. Maybe my life is boring in comparison to the rest of the world. Yes, I have dreams of course. I want to carry a hot dog with me everywhere I go and photograph him in unusual places, like in the underwear drawer of a Victoria's Secret store perhaps. The thought of a glistening meatlog in a tender bun next to the latest ruched-back satin bikini-cut panty is pleasing. I will then compile all of these images in a large coffee table book called, Surprise! The Incongruent Journey of the Wiener. Or alternatively, It Looks Like a Dick, So Put it in Your Pocket, Pu$$y.

But these are simple dreams, dreams of a dreamer. Maybe I'm not cut out for this real world reality of mutilation, violence and chaos. I'm trying to do good and everyone else seems hell-bent on destroying something, but maybe that's because this is the way of the world. Metals oxidize, teeth fall out, boulders crumble, old people die and leaves fall and decay. We are subjected to an on-going perpetuation of destruction and some are just more in a hurry that others I suppose.

Am I the outcast here? Am I the only one left trying to make a change in a quiet and determined manner, yet maintaining a mild anonymity in the process? Is it just me and my hot dog as the last hope of sanity for all of mankind? Please say it ain't so because a man and his hot dog can only do so much for the planet.

And pretty soon, it's liable to just be me, powerless and weak, and without my beloved oblong meat pal.

Al Gore?

2011-02-09T16:31:00.001-06:00

Blow me.

Frozen precipitation is falling from the sky for the second time in two weeks in central Mississippi.

- Sent from my iPhone

Eyes Closed, Walking Backwards. . .

2011-02-09T09:26:00.004-06:00

Nothing to see here, move along. . .

“It should be known that jihad and preparation towards jihad are not only for the purpose of fending off assaults and attacks of Allah’s enemies from Muslims, but are also for the purpose of realizing the great task of establishing an Islamic state and strengthening the religion and spreading it around the world.”

Obama is a fool to think we should be negotiating with "moderates" like the Muslim Brotherhood and you would think that someone who knows the religion of Islam would have a keen insight into the bastardization of it by people like this.

But yet. . .we embrace them.

Some say the end is near. . .

New Poll. . .

2011-02-07T08:27:00.002-06:00

I have a new poll up at The Big Feed. You should participate. Like now.

Now!

What are you waiting for??

2011-02-04T12:40:00.000-06:00

Clearly during the 2008 election, the Republican party and John McCain campaign made some mistakes. Otherwise we'd have already bombed Iran to bits and our Marines would have seized control of the Suez Canal, instead of sucking up to the world and bending like a willow sapling to the political wind of the moment.

Must be a slow(?) news day when someone rehashes the "RNC bought Sarah Palin clothes" story which should have died the day after if was first printed, but apparently, it is still relevant, to something or other. Now, $150,000 is excessive, but obviously the woman couldn't go out on the campaign trail in a pair of waders or coveralls. That kind of charm might work in Wasilla, Alaska or D'Lo, Mississippi, but it would never fly in a place dominated by elitist turds, either Republican or Democrat. In places like that, cats eat Fancy Feast out of Waterford crystal bowls and your butler is paid six figures to do among other things, to vacuum the lint from the wrinkles of your purebred Sharpei dog. (In the shrill voice of Julia Childs) "Thrice weekly, Hobson. . .thrice weekly!"
I remember right after McCain announced that Sarah was going to be his running mate, both of them came to Jackson to visit with Haley Barbour. This was one of the first times the "media" had a look at the Alaskan governor and Governor Palin was dressed demurely in a simple black skirt and white blouse.

Do you know what they blasted the soon-to-be enigma for? It wasn't for what she said while meeting with our governor, that's for sure. She was eaten up by the "media" because she wore hoop earrings like this is some kind of mortal sin against the sensibilities of America. "Trailer trash" I believe some referred to her as.

I have news for you assholes. When our country finally bites the big one and that looks more and more likely as each day passes, it is going to be "trailer trash" people like us and her, the ones who know how to farm, hunt, fish, and preserve food that you pansy-ass, over-educated, liberal pussies will be relying on. When civil society breaks down, remember that we are the ones "clinging" to our guns and our age old customs, culture and know-how. So, when all of your meaningless laws meant to "equalize" the imbalance of societal status come crashing down on your glass houses and the money you worship becomes worthless, all you will have left between life and living or being gobbled up by the savages on the other side is us. And if you're not ready to eat snake, rodent and insect. . .well, good luck diphits. Maybe you can trade your hoop earrings for a can of Beanie Weenies.

And didn't Sarah give most of the clothes back anyway? She wears everyday clothing, she gets hammered. They buy her some clothes to fit the part, she gets hammered. What does the left expect her to do. . .campaign in the nude?

Hhhmmmm........

Coolness. . .

2011-02-03T08:49:00.001-06:00

. . .this so makes me want to go to flight school.

Howdy!

2011-02-03T08:38:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all, I am back. We got The Popsicle home last week and he is recuperating nicely and feeling much better. After a week in the hospital this is what you would expect, because isn't this the whole idea of going in the first place? So they can fix what ails ya? In his case they did and I feel better about his future at least over the short and medium term. The inevitable is there, somewhere, and it'll be a big loss once Pop takes off for the motherland of the afterlife.

Alas, such is life, isn't it? We're all just here to die eventually, but it's that in-between, that time in the middle of life where life's true purpose comes into play. You can analyze living until the cows come home, but I think the true purpose, beyond making more people, is to touch and influence the lives around you in a positive manner. Whether it be through words or deeds or maybe even some great technological discovery that changes the world it is imperetive that we continue to spread the values and principles that makes human life unique. Although most of us are destined to lead normal lives and won't be recipients of the Nobel Prize for medicine or peace, we can comfort ourselves with the knowledge that when our bretheren, relatives, spouses or complete strangers are in need, that we will be there for them fully. This is the value of life.

And even near the end, those who remain full of will, spirit, and goodness in their heart, continue to share and influence positively.

Germ Warfare. . .

2011-01-18T14:45:00.001-06:00

- Sent from my iPhone

One Breath At A Time. . .

2011-01-17T06:55:00.000-06:00

I am going to be away from the blog for a few days so the postings will be sporadic if any at all. We had to admit The Old Popsicle (my dad) to the hospital last night with pneumonia so I'll be wrapped up dealing with that along with keeping the family biz bumbling along with my brother. Neither of us have had much sleep and I suspect not much will be available over the coming days as we deal with the worry and health of the old guy.

As always, there are plenty of other great places to visit in the wild and wonderful Internet, so get out there and pay someone else a visit. Maybe I'll drop a line here and there about just how miserable hospitals are in between cat naps and cups of coffee. Take care everyone.

Nora The Piano Cat. . .

2011-01-13T09:02:00.000-06:00

And then Tucker the dog has to come along and screw it up for everyone.

It's What's For Dinner. . .

2011-01-13T07:43:00.001-06:00

. . .a 180 pound wild hog killed in Port Gibson by a co-worker yesterday evening.

Nasty little bugger!

- Sent from my iPhone

A Fine Example. . .

2011-01-12T09:22:00.000-06:00

. . .of misdirected Liberal ideology. Let's starve the people to save the fish.

The above article ties in nicely with one penned by Dr. Victor Davis Hanson that Captain Thruston from The Big Feed highlighted last week about the de-evolution of California into two separate and dichotomous states. Frightening.

VDH article is here.

The Hammer To The Rescue. . .

2011-01-12T09:13:00.000-06:00

Charles Krauthammer is a mad genius and a Harvard educated psychiatrist. No really, he is. So, this to me gives him far more weight to opine on the mental state of a deranged killer as opposed to the likes of Ag school grad Keith D'Ohlberman, who can barely wipe the spittle from his thin lips before he screams again, "Palin did it!"

Go get 'em Hammer:

The verdict: Rarely in American political discourse has there been a charge so reckless, so scurrilous and so unsupported by evidence.

As killers go, Jared Loughner is not reticent. Yet among all his writings, postings, videos and other ravings - and in all the testimony from all the people who knew him - there is not a single reference to any of these supposed accessories to murder.

Not only is there no evidence that Loughner was impelled to violence by any of those upon whom Paul Krugman, Keith Olbermann, the New York Times, the Tucson sheriff and other rabid partisans are fixated. There is no evidence that he was responding to anything, political or otherwise, outside of his own head.

Clear thinking is like Colt 45, ""works every time!"

Smackdown. . .

2011-01-12T08:45:00.000-06:00

Sarah Palin speaks. Dead on target.

Words. . .

2011-01-12T08:29:00.000-06:00

I have a new post up over at The Big Feed. Stop by and read it.

My Two Cents. . .

2011-01-11T10:59:00.002-06:00

. . .on the tragedy in Arizona, adjusted for inflation of course.

There are not enough words in Roget's Thesaurus that can adequately describe the vile and heinous act of violence perpetrated in Arizona over the weekend and if you have listened to any news broadcasts since then, you've heard them all at least a dozen times.

From my perspective, what is being lost in the knee-jerk reaction to the violence is the loss of life. Hardly anyone is focusing on the six people that were killed, including the epitome of innocence in 9-year old Christina Greene, who was recently elected to her student council at school and was at the event filled with primed eagerness to learn about politics. This disgusts me more than anything.

I am sorry that the others lost their lives too, but this little girl represents all that is right with America. She was inspired to be involved and to learn and much of that inspiration could probably be traced back to her parents who I am sure were whole-heartedly involved and interested in her daily life, growth and development. She played sports, enjoyed horses and wanted to be a veterinarian when she grew up, but none of that will come to pass now. The essence of this little girl has been snuffed out, but it is my hope that a little of her will live on in the souls of the rest of us. She was true, she was innocent, and she was our future.

Even her father, who must be suffering incomprehensibly, remained steadfast, courageous and rational when he stated that although he grieves for the loss of his daughter, to give up even a single freedom solely because one random lunatic couldn't handle his own life any longer is no reason to start whipping up law after law after law to "protect" us. This is the sad cost of living in a free society and I concur with his statement. But leave it to our illustrious politicians to march out in droves and begin pointing fingers before the barrel of the gun used in the shootings had even cooled off.

Naturally, their first instinct is to go after guns because as we should all know well by now, guns kill people. Yet however, their reactionary instinct to place blame where it doesn't belong AGAIN is fallacious and in this case, damned near criminal. Guns do not kill people, people kill people with guns. And shovels, axes, lawn chairs, screwdrivers, automobiles, skateboards, stump grinders, arsenic, baseball bats, bad eggs, etc, etc, etc. Should we control all of those items more also?

Secondly, in an era of political division which could very well be unprecedented in our nation, liberal politicians have gone to a full-court press to finger the blame on people like Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and particularly, Sarah Palin, further dividing an already polarized nation. Again, this misdirected blame is indicative of the position in which liberal politicians find themselves. They were romped in the November elections, generally speaking their poll numbers have dwindled significantly, their policies completely rejected by the voting class, and now, in the aftermath of this violence, are seeking to rile up their weakening voter base by using the the same kind of in-your-face vitriol that they blame the right for. Unfounded, hypocritical accusations with absolutely no basis in reality. They need a boogey-man (or woman) to solidify their weakened position and what better way than to make the outrageous accusation that somehow Sarah Palin is responsible for these murders because she put some crosshairs on a map. Egregious, filthy, lying, stinking, sniping, gutter politics.

This is the epitome of leftist politics. When the truth hurts, lie, lie, lie. Does anyone remember when Congress was convening on Capitol Hill and Nancy Pelosi made a large show of it by parading down the street with her giant gavel amongst the supporters and protesters of President Obama's health care bill just before the historic vote? And Congressman Emanual Cleaver was intentionally spat upon while Congressman John Lewis was repeatedly called "nigger" by protesters? Well guess what. Total fabrications in the face of what was clearly an overwhelming protest against unwanted legislation and governmental overreach. But this is how it works.

Clearly, the American people were not in favor of that legislation and Congress made an overt effort to rub the faces of the common man in it by marching up and down the street in a show of political force. When faced with large scale anti-health care bill protesters their only way out was to continue the meme started long ago that Tea Party and conservative activists are nothing but bigots and racists that don't like the fact that there is a "black man in the White House."

So, fast forward to today and we see the same type of scurrilous lying happening before us again. The meme has been started by the Sheriff of Pima County and the ranks of liberal Democrats are marching forward beating their sick drum of lies. Palin did it. Beck did it. Limbaugh did it. Palin did it. Beck did it. Limbaugh did it. And here are their solutions:

Besides gun controls, let's regulate political speech too or even symbology. No more crosshairs or targets or words like "war-zone, battleground, or shot across the bow." And while we are at it, let's regulate news and talk radio by reviving the Fairness Doctrine, which is nothing more that an attempt to stifle the free speech protected by our 1st Amendment rights. The proof is in the pudding that liberal talk radio does not work and liberal cable news only fairs slightly better. Both of these mediums derive their revenue from advertising and if people don't listen, people aren't buying the products advertised and said outlet goes the way of Air America. Right down the tube. But here comes government to the rescue in a effort to "level the playing field" which really means to quash free speech, free enterprise and in general the freedoms of all Americans all because of two totally unrelated events: Sarah Palin put some targets on a map and some lunatic in Arizona couldn't handle the voices in his head.

Unfortunately, and with tragic results, some people are simply going to fall through the cracks of society. No amount of gun control or speech control or leveling of the playing field is going to stop someone who is dead set on causing mass havoc at the expense of the innocent and no manner of law-making will ever legislate away the crazies in our nation. What we can take away from this is that hopefully for the last time, the liberal left of this nation has been exposed as a crafty, lying, hypocritical and dangerous minority of our society who seek to control all manner of our lives, from daylight to dark, inside and outside the home, and at great expense to our taxpayers all for the sake of being "safer", "healthier", "smarter" or "more enlightened."

You cannot legislate away all the risks of life and living. There are a million and one ways to die in this world and I hope when I go out whether is be by crazed gunman, falling anvil or choking to death on a boiled peanut, I hope that I leave behind a tenth of the inspiration that Christina Greene did. Do not let the sick liberals of our nation smother out the burning flames of her memory, her innocence, and her potential to change this country for the better, even in death.

Frozed. . .

2011-01-11T08:47:00.000-06:00

So much for meteorological predictions.

The thundering snow storm we were supposed to have kinda pooped out, or more realistically, didn't get cranked up full force until it was well to the east of us. We got quite a bit of sleet and managed to have an extra day off from work because of that, but I was really looking forward to the 2 to 4 inches of snow which never came.

Ah well, we are simply at the mercy of Mother Nature and her fickle behavior. Last week it was tornadoes which ripped half the roof off my favorite watering hole and totally demolished the fireworks stand we were inside of about 20 minutes beforehand. This week, ice and plunging temperatures. What's next? Locusts?

Drats! Man wanted snow.

But then I read something like this story and I realize that living in the Southeast isn't such a bad thing. An occasional snow is okay, but 40 below being stalked by wolves while hobbling around on a bum knee is a whole 'nother level of drat.

Friday Music. . .

2011-01-07T07:55:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I cannot find the words to describe what music does to me. To equate it to a drug is a fair enough assessment, however that doesn't even come close to the full explanation.

Today I describe it as transport. . .

and reminder. . .

and finally, timing.

Gun Control. . .

2011-01-06T15:33:00.003-06:00

. . .means using both hands.

Yeah, it's one of the oldest jokes, but nothing could be more appropriate in describing the Smith & Wesson 329PD Alaska Backpacker chambered in .44 magnum.

The first thing that is noticable about the gun is its weight or sheer lack thereof. Weighing in around 27 ounces makes this gun extremely light for such a large caliber. This is due in large part to the Scandium alloy frame. Ultimately, a small price will be paid in recoil during firing, but this gun was designed to be a light and powerful close range weapon for protection against angry bears or hungry mountain lions or agitated crack heads.

The stainless steel cylinder and barrel insert add a nice two-tone contrast to the elegant but brutish look of the revolver and the Houge custom rubber grip will surely improve control during the fierce recoil of heavy .44 magnum loads.

I have not had a chance to shoot this gun other than six shots fired into the ground for the New Year and I can say one thing if one thing only about my first impression: it is so bloody loud! I mean LOUD! I had some little foam earplugs that I use for work which I inserted before shooting and they managed to do the job. However, the noise, not to mention the two foot flame that erupted from the barrel, was impressive and made things tingle on this man that only muscle cars and good-looking women can reproduce.

All in all, I am extremely satisfied with this firearm (Thank you Santa!). It is beautifully desgined, functions well, is small enough to carry, and in a word is, meancing.

I'll report more later as I have a chance to run a box or two of shells through it. As a matter of fact, I found an old head of cabbage in the fridge which has a Hornady 200 grain hollow point written all over it.

In This Corner. . .

2011-01-06T13:19:00.003-06:00

. . .weighing in with a brain and several concealed sidearms, Ted "The Nuge' Nugent. And it the other corner, weighing in at one metric ton, Roseanne Barr! Stuck in the middle? Some poor black guy fearing for his life no doubt.

Click here to watch The Nuge totally destroy a liberal fool whose answers are only as thought out as the talking points she read before appearing on Anderson "Don't call me Pooper" Cooper.

And in another great score from The Daily Caller, Tucker Carlson completely pwn3d Keith D'ohlberman. Great one Tucker! I forgive you for the silly bowtie you wear. Save that shit for your 70's man.

Peace. . .

2011-01-06T07:33:00.003-06:00

. . .the old fashioned way.

H/T: Nils

D Is For. . .

2011-01-05T14:57:00.002-06:00

Dumbfuck, dimwitted, Democrat dolt!

Yesterday evening I was watching Bill O'Reilly as his discussion was focusing on the following insanity uttered by now (Thank you baby Jesus!) ex-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi:

“Deficit reduction has been a high priority for us. It is our mantra, pay-as-you-go.”

Every time I hear that or read it or even think of her 1,000 yard, creepy, baby doll eyes stare I get a tingling sensation along my hypothalamus and amygdalas. In other words, I feel blinding fucking rage that such a hair-brained dipshit can end up in a critical position of power. This woman must have mercury poisoning from too many cans of her husband's tuna fish because she has said some godawful half-truths and skirted some issues before, but this newest golly-whopper is simply a flat-out lie! They wouldn't call it that on television last night, but I will because it is!

The Los Angeles Times blog attempted yesterday to explain just how quickly the American government is accumulating debt. I can't remember exactly, but it was something like $50,000 per hour. No. $50,000 per minute. No that's not right. Ah, here I found it. . .

Since June of last year, seems so long ago, right? Since June 2010, the government has added to the national debt by $54,084 per second. Let me repeat that. Fifty-four thousand eighty-four dollars per second.

Count.

1....2....3....4

That equals $216,336. This is roughly equivalent to the average home price in the United States in 2009. In four fucking seconds!! And you're are paying as you're going, Nancy? Oh puh-lease! Someone get this woman a lobotomy before she hurts someone. Oh wait, she has already hurt everyone by helping breach the trust of the people by enacting useless legislation, social programs, and spending that is helping to gobble up this astronomical amount of money! Their spending is our debt.

At first I didn't think she could top the previously most-insane thing she had ever said which was her remark about how unemployment benefits create jobs:

"It injects demand into the economy," Pelosi said, arguing that when families have money to spend it keeps the economy churning. "It creates jobs faster than almost any other initiative you can name."

Hell, if that were true and with the government extending jobless benefits for 90+ weeks, we ought to be overrun with jobs! I ought to be able to slide my underwear drawer open in the morning and find 10 or 11 jobs hiding in there. When I split open a bag of Cheeseburger Cracker flavor Combos, a big ol' job fist ought to fly right out and punch me in the face! I am not an economic genius by any means, but I do have common sense. And I know that if my company spent money on a percentage basis compared to what the government does, our asses would have been in the soup line years ago with a creditor list half a mile long. What the hell do these idiots think they are doing?

I think it is time that America take up the very serious issue of passing term-limits legislation for the politicians in Washington. We need to root out the entrenched and very much insane inmates who are most definitely in charge of the asylum. We may never survive the next election cycle as a solvent country if something isn't done pronto and I doubt seriously that the Republican led house can turn back the coming economic tsunami. The Chinese already own half of our asses, ass hair, and all of the toilet paper, so we are in deep shit until further notice.

*Photograph of Cheeseburger Cracker Combos is for information purposes only. Consumption of this product is not recommended.

New Jersey Can. . .

2011-01-05T09:19:00.002-06:00

. . .kiss my grits Mel!

Even though I don't live in New Jersey, this kind of governmental overreach is just the kind of crap that got the Democrats demolished this past November.

Here is a hypothetical. . .

Say you buy a package of hot dogs for your daughter and her child. And you say to me, "Hey Radioactive Man, I am going to give these hot dogs to you for safe keeping because my daughter's child is too young to eat hot dogs now and plus my daughter is too dumb to cut up her child's hot dog so his blow hole doesn't get plugged up causing him to turn blue and I am not sure she is smart enough to call 911 if that happens because she cannot count that high and we tried our best with her, but anyway, I'll give you these hot dogs and you give me a certificate for the hot dogs and when our daughter is smart enough to operate a door knob to leave the house by herself and her child is old enough to chew his food, maybe when he is ten, she can come back and get the hot dogs with the cetrificate from you to feed her child, ok? Unless they have both starved to death by then beacuse of her gross incompetence in child-rearing."

Sure I say, and I pop them in the official Radioactive Man Long Term Hot Dog Storage Device.

3 years later here comes the daughter with the certificate, which has since been marred with crayon marks, boogers and stains of a rather personal nature, but I am willing to honor the certificate because that is what I do. I honor the hot dog certificate.

But when I look in the official Radioactive Man Long Tern Hot Dog Storage Device, there are no hot dogs to be found! But there is a note scribbled on the back of a napkin from the Ritz-Carton Grand Cayman which says:

Dear Radioactive Man,

We r sorrie to have stoled ur hawt dawgs, butt we'd had to done it cuz we ain't reel gud with monie and we need monie becuz we spendted all da monie on portant stuff like classez dat teach chilruns how to porperly eated a hawt dawgs. We are hadding a grate time in the isleands at ur expenced, thanx a lots!

Urs Truely,
The Gubermint

Now, one might say, "Well, this is rather outrageous!" And to that I would say, you're damned tootin' it is! But this could be the new reality in New Jersey and places elsewhere. Keep an eye on your back pocket and your piggy bank and any other place where you might have stashed a few coins. They want it and if they have their way, they'll get it and you can't do a thing about it.

Cross-discussed at The Big Feed

Couldn't Agree More. . .

2011-01-04T09:06:00.000-06:00

Our HOMELAND!!!!!! Security director Janet Napolitano recently made headlines for a trip to Afghanistan to discuss securing the border in the war torn country. You don't have to be a mechanical genius to spot the irony of this, but then again maybe DHS is in the process of testing out new technologies and procedures for securing borders that would otherwise not be deployed on the Mexican border because of the high probability of liberal minds exploding as they scream about violating the rights of illegal criminal aliens.

Nah. Couldn't be.

I don't have a clue of the purpose of the trip, but usually high-level politicians jet out of town when the heat is on them for answers to something. I have a question Janet. When are you going to secure our border?

Pinal County, Arizona Sheriff Paul Babeu absolutely blows up on Napolitano by saying, "It's outrageous. . ."

I couldn't agree more Sheriff and you certainly know more about this woman than most as she was your illustrious Attorney General and then Governor where I am sure her liberalism spilled blood on the borders regularly.

Is it just me or does anyone else find themselves confused by her actions? Remember this?

In March 2009, Napolitano told the German news site "Spiegel Online" that while she presumes there is always a threat from terrorism: "I referred to 'man-caused' disasters. That is perhaps only a nuance, but it demonstrates that we want to move away from the politics of fear toward a policy of being prepared for all risks that can occur."

Prepared my ass.

Ladies And Gentlemen. . .

2011-01-04T08:22:00.000-06:00

I present "The Dirty Old One Man Band" Scott Biram.

http://www.scottbiram.com/index.php

Time. . .

2011-01-03T23:36:00.000-06:00

There are so many things on the internet these days that it is hard to shuffle through the flotsam and jetsam of useless videos until you run across something worthy of your time. This is one of those episodes. I'll never ask for the time back I lost watching this, it is simply fabulous and fascinating.

Out With The Old. . .

2010-12-30T13:11:00.003-06:00

As the New Year approaches I suspect that many of us are reflecting on the past 12 months and doing our best to categorize and understand the happenings; some good, some bad, some rather indifferent.

This year was relatively terrible for me as I suffered through the worst personal crisis of my life nearly at the cost of my genuine good health and even healthier sanity. But as someone said a long time ago: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I believe that and am a living example of it.

This year started off with the terrible news of the double-murder of some acquaintances I had in Texas. Their lives were needlessly ended in a fit of jealousy and rage and in an extremely violent manner on the day after Christmas. And the year ended with the death of a long-time employee who I have known since I was a small boy. He passed away on Christmas day.

All of this sandwiched a tragic breakup of a relationship that I had nurtured for two years which ended with me on the edge of a bed, alone, holding thousands of dollars of precious metals and jewels in my hand as I tried to come to grips with and understand what had just happened. I still have no answer for that and it continues to haunt me, yet less so as time passes.

Looking back on all of the tragedy, stress, and sorrow, I suppose I could still be kicking myself around with the old "why me?" scenario, but I realize that to accept life and living, one is also required to accept death and dying whether in the real form of people that you know leaving this good Earth or in the intangible sense of the death of an important connection with someone. Life has never been fair. There are no referees or rules really. No instant replay except for the one installed in the brain which questions each and every move, manoeuvre, and consequence of life.

Since the dawn of man, he has sought answers to the puzzling questions of life. Many of those questions have been answered, but many remain mysteriously undiscovered and are likely to remain so until Earth tires of our antics and swallows us back up into oblivion. However, to seek the great answers of life is a just pursuit and if it were not for our innate ability to seek the truth around us, we (man) would still be huddling in cold, dark caves wrapped in animal hides and clubbing each other on the head in a moment's fancy

Humankind has a unique emotional trait in the compassion we offer to other humans, even animals, in some cases insects, and even to inanimate objects. This unique identifier is part of what makes the human animal special. When one finds themselves in a state of need, for instance after a death, it doesn't take long for friends, family and community to rally into action. Through this outpouring of support, love and companionship, the first seeds of recovery are planted within the soul, left to slowly germinate, only to later spring forth with a new focus on life and living. Without this necessary regeneration, life would be a miserable to place to be and would most certainly be far shorter for many of us.

I have much to be grateful for as I experienced this blooming regenerative lifeforce in the last third of 2010. And I can thank all of you and the many kinds words of support I received from friend and stranger alike. Without you, I feel this year would have been a total loss, a sad loss, but through you I am living and thriving and happy.

With all of that said, I wish the best for all of us come 2011.

Sincerely Yours,
Radioactive Man

Working On It. . .

2010-12-30T10:46:00.000-06:00

Folks, I am working on a post to close the year out with so bare with me. This, in between actually faking work for a living today. I am destined to not do a single, solitary, productive thing. I just know it. I can feel it in my bones radiating up my vertabrae and into the epicenter of the brain which controls fucking off. Who is with me today?

In the meantime. . .

Meat And Stuff. . .

2010-12-26T00:30:00.001-06:00

- Sent from my iPhone

Poured Brett A Drink. . .

2010-12-26T00:17:00.001-06:00

- Sent from my iPhone

Santa Claus. . .

2010-12-26T00:13:00.001-06:00

. . .is a member of the NRA.

- Sent from my iPhone

Epiphany. . .

2010-12-24T12:19:00.001-06:00

Sometimes when a man it as his most vulnerable is when the curious web of the mind strikes him hardest.

What a miracle of technology it is that I can take a sh!t 6 miles above the earth traveling sideways in the rear-end of an aluminum tube doing 525 miles per hour.

I'd say human beings have progressed as a species, wouldn't you?

- Sent from my iPhone

Indeed. . .

2010-12-23T18:36:00.001-06:00

As long as it is black in color an directly from the freezer.

- Sent from my iPhone

The Joys Of Travel. . .

2010-12-23T17:47:00.001-06:00

. . .hardcore political analysis and a fucking cold beer!

The only way to fly.

- Sent from my iPhone

Tchula. . .

2010-12-23T17:16:00.001-06:00

. . .you haven't changed a bit!

- Sent from my iPhone

Waldrup. . .

2010-12-23T07:24:00.001-06:00

. . .it's what's for dinner.

- Sent from my iPhone

On The Road Again. . .

2010-12-23T07:22:00.001-06:00

This morning I am following the pimento cheese truck up Highway 49 to the sprawling metropolis of Tchula, pronounced chew-la for you non-Mississippians, and I am sure all of you are wondering the obvious -- what's there?

The short answer is: nothing. The long answer is: 1.4 square miles of nothing.

As with most tiny Delta towns, Tchula's main industry back in the day would have been cotton. But today, I would imagine that the cotton gin has long been closed. I vaugely remember a sawmill I saw back in the early 80's when we traveled to Tchula for dove hunting, but even then I remember that not much was going on in the town.

On the brighter side, a new Dollar General store is being constructed nearby and that is my destination. Dollar General is a bit of a misnomer because there is very little for sale inside for a buck, except for this monkey. .

His name is Abraham and he keeps me company on these long, lonely trips to small towns that time has forgotten.

So, come on and go with me to Tchula. If Dollar General is willing to build a store in a town of 2300 people, then something must be happening there.

- Sent from my iPhone

Eat Me!

2010-12-22T13:00:00.001-06:00

As I was driving to work this morning in the drizzly fog, I heard a report on NPR about the new "food safety" bill that was recently passed by our insane Congress. As someone who has worked in the foodservice industry, I feel I have some authority to comment on this latest stupidity to come out of Washington.

During the article on NPR, the reporter was joined by someone at a local food market to discuss what this "would mean" for the average consumer. They began in the produce section. . .

Naturally, little processed fresh food can be particularly dangerous, especially so with leafy green vegetable such as lettuces and greens which by their very design provide an incredible habitat for a pathogen to hide. It is very difficult to clean these without disassembling the head and washing each leaf individually as should be done after purchase. It wouldn't look very appetizing to find a heap of limp, beat up and disassembled lettuce leaves in a grocery, now would it?

As the reporter and her guest proceeded through the store they stopped at the eggs, which were responsible for rash of food borne illnesses and deaths earlier this year. It was found out that salmonella was the causation for the outbreak and the eggs were tracked back to two producers in Iowa who had never been inspected by the FDA. Whose fault is that? The producer or the government?

They further stated in the article that some 40 million cases of foodborne illnesses happen every year with a mortality rate of less than 5000. I don't remember the exact numbers they quoted, but a quick look at the Center for Disease Control website indicates there are an "estimated" 76 million cases of foodborne illnesses each year from known and unknown pathogens resulting in 5000 deaths. That equals 1 death in 15,200 cases, or put another way it equals a 0.00006579% death rate. Of course no one wants to die or lose a loved one from something that is easily preventable, but you are more likely to die doing something as seemingly innocuous as driving down the street in your car. 40,000 people per year die from that.

With all of that being said let me tell you a story. When I first moved to Costa Rica in the early 2000's imagine my surprise as a qualified chef when I first walked into a local "supermercado" to find that the eggs were stored hot and not refrigerated. They sat on the shelf in the sweltering heat in an unairconditioned building, no one seemed to give a mierda and frankly neither did I once the initial shock wore away quickly. Oftentimes, the eggs would have specks of chicken doo doo or feathers glued to the shells, but I looked around at the healthy and happy Ticos and no one seemed disturbed by it, so why should I? You were more likely to die falling from your horse after a night of drinking Guaro at the local bar than from eating a cooked egg that had been stored at room temperature.

This brings up another point. In the United States we have become so overly-addicted to our hygiene that we have managed to breed bacteria that are largely immune to even the strongest antibiotics known to man. Anti-bacterial soaps, hand-sanitizers, bathroom cleaners, wet wipes, you name it and it probably has some kind of anti-microbial property. We even have plastics with built-in germ killers. However, it you read the labels of many household cleaners that are supposedly "anti" whatever, they generally require a pre-cleaning of the surface and a 10 minute soaking time to kill bacteria. Who does that? Im sure most people see "anti" whatever on the label and it's squirt squirt, wipe wipe, hell yeah it's clean now! Well, sorry folks, but it ain't.

We live with bacteria in our daily lives whether we like it or not. The human body is home to billions of bacteria inside and out and this is the natural way of life. As long as you practice moderate hygiene and don't rub raw chicken thighs under your armpits at night before bedtime or store raw ground beef in your baby's bottle, chances are you are going to live a healthy and happy life with little trouble. The body will take care of the balance and when you get sick, well, the body will generally get the upper hand and learn something new so that the next time that bug comes along you will have a new trick up your sleeve to deal with it.

Back to my original discussion, the news article on the radio failed to mention one thing: the financial impact of this legislation. They said that part of the bill requires the creation of 18,000 new inspectors as part of the program. And furthermore, the FDA will have the power to write new rules and regulations at their discretion to suit whatever food safety fancy they may have at a particular moment. What this will all boil down to is higher food costs for you and I, not to mention a heavier tax burden to pay for thousands of new government bureaucrats to "make" food "safer". I feel safer already, don't you? No, actually, after two hours in Walmart last night realizing that inflation has already negatively impacted my food bill, I realize now that in the interest of "saving" 5000 lives per year, the government is going to slowly starve the rest of us to death via Draconian food legislation and higher prices. Such a lovely irony!

I guess no one has stopped to consider that it is governmental intervention and union organizations that have over-regulated our food supply and squeezed every last penny out of the profit margin of food producers, respectively, so that we import a large percentage of our food from place like Mexico where production farms regularly utilize raw sewage for fertilization? Coccidiosis anyone?

Furthermore, have we become so utterly inept at caring for ourselves that Big Government has to come knocking on our pocketbooks one more time in an effort to stop the deaths of 0.000065% of the total food illnesses per year? And all of this on top of Michelle Obama's salad bar in every school idea, which is sure to lead to even more illnesses. Salad bars are the proverbial "wet dream" of microbes big and small. Compound those salad bars with the large number of children who practice poor bathroom hygiene or who have parents who bathe them in anti-microbial products from daylight to dark and you are going to see outbreaks of mammoth proportions.

What will that lead to? You guessed it -- more legislation, more taxation and even higher food costs.

Life is full of risks and personally, outside of protecting this country as a whole, I don't need my government meddling in my life any more than it already does. Especially so since they have managed to spend every known dollar on the planet ten times over and continue to pound out ever-encroaching laws, taxes and social programs in an effort to exterminate death in all of its ugly forms. For me, I say hands off my undercooked French-style eggs and where the fuck is my Happy Meal toy?

Next thing you know, they will be regulating falling anvils and grand pianos, even though no one has died from that since the 1940's Bugs Bunny cartoons. But as some astute political wizards recently said, "Never let a good crisis go to waste."

Wet wipe anyone?

- Sent from my iPhone

Quote. . .

2010-12-21T13:22:00.001-06:00

If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry. -- A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway

- Sent from my iPhone

Lumps Of Coal. . .

2010-12-20T08:19:00.001-06:00

It is very difficult to gin up any feelings of sympathy for the three losers who were on the receiving end of some Castle Doctrine justice because life is full of choices and one must be prepared to live (or die) with the consequences. I only feel sadness for the families of these three cretins who must now spend Christmas lamenting the poor decision making skills that led to their deaths.

I pray also that the owner of the store makes a full recovery. Christmas is about giving and the celebration of life, but sometimes life takes too, and this is one of those sad examples of that.

- Sent from my iPhone

Catematics. . .

2010-12-20T08:08:00.003-06:00

Cat+cardboard box=

Good times!!

- Sent from my iPhone

Dear Santa. . .

2010-12-20T08:08:00.001-06:00

I was a good boy this year.

Plus, this would look great in the living room!

- Sent from my iPhone

Holy Guacamole!

2010-12-16T21:59:00.001-06:00

O Mexico. Land of vast natural resources and history. Beautiful beaches and lush tropical jungles. Ancient Indian monuments and modern bustling city life. And also.......really crappy drones.

I'm not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that Mexico is flying drones along our common border or the fact Mexico can't successfully complete the aforementioned without crashing the damn thing in someones backyard. A backyard in AMERICA!!!!!

But for even more entertainment, peruse through the 200 or so public comments on the story. My personal favorite (and totally unrelated to the story) is the following verbatim:

?How does a Mexican cut hee's pizza? !With hee's leetle Ceasers!

Now that's funny!

- Sent from my iPhone

Damn!

2010-12-09T11:00:00.001-06:00

Poor Santa!

I wonder if he had my motorcycle in his sack of goodies? It's probably raining down in pieces over Topeka right now.

H/T: Fairy

- Sent from my iPhone

Or Maybe This One. . .

2010-12-08T18:23:00.000-06:00

Or Maybe This One Santa. . .

2010-12-07T17:56:00.002-06:00

Merry Leather. . .

2010-12-07T07:29:00.001-06:00

Santa came a little early this year. Now all I need is the bike to go with it. . .

Ummm, Santa???

- Sent from my iPhone

A Few Words About WikiLeaks. . .

2010-12-06T11:04:00.000-06:00

First this: If Julian Assange's face was on fire, I wouldn't waste my time taking a WikiLeak on his head to put out the flames.

However, I cannot admit that I am totally against the publishing of these classified documents for many reasons. Mainly, I have enjoyed with utter morbid fascination the content of some of these diplomatic cables, yet I still harbor a great disgust that these documents were stolen and are in the hands of someone of such nebulous background and with an obvious desire to torment and damage the United States at any cost.

Whoever stole these documents should face the harshest of laws created to protect the national security of this country. Treason? I say indeed. And if it can be proven, which I understand is quite difficult to achieve, the penalty should be the maximum: death. I also think that the middlemen of this situation, the ones that facilitated the transfer of these cables should be prosecuted also. To me, they are guilty as well, in the least for receiving stolen property. If our current laws against espionage do not allow for the prosecution of these second and third tier facilitators, then the law should be changed to allow for that.

It is well known that our own government leaks high-level data to the media on a regular basis when they need that particular information out there. Frankly, that should be illegal too. But again, I find myself conflicted as to the ultimate dissemination of these cables and papers. I like knowing about it because it is fascinating; it is not every day that we get such a hard look on the inner-workings of our "diplomacy" and as I read in a Charles Krauthammer editorial, ". . .a diplomat is an honest man sent abroad to lie for his country." Indeed Charles, indeed.

I am trying to resolve this internal conflict I have about WikiLeaks, but I am having no luck. Some of the posturing, or lack thereof, by our government concerning Julian Assange, and Private Manning, whom we are all to believe stole the information, just doesn't add up. It is confusing. Chances are we could find Assange in an instance. Somehow, media outlets have no trouble in communicating and/or interviewing him on a regular basis, yet we let him roam free with hopes that he gets gobbled up by an Interpol warrant for very weak rape charges. Also, our government could easily destroy his website on a whim, yet we don't do that either. So maybe, we (they) want that information out there. And ultimately, if it exposes corruption within the governments or corporations of the world, including ours, then I say good!

I'm up for anyone else's opinion on this subject. To me, the whole damn thing just doesn't add up, at all! Maybe it's a great Jewish conspiracy as this person suspects. I don't agree with his analysis, but he raises some very good points about Assange once you muddle your way through all of the other conspiracies within the article.

With all of that said, I was going to post a picture of Assange with Hitler moustache or devil horns, but frankly I am sick of seeing his squirrely, smirking face posted everywhere on the Internet. Instead, I'll post a picture of my favorite subject on the planet: beautiful women.

Columbia may be known for its cocaine, but it has another hot commodity too.

Cross-posted at The Big Feed.

Nothing Says. . .

2010-12-04T13:22:00.001-06:00

. . .time to go grocery shopping like a Bloody Mary in a Mason jar.

- Sent from my iPhone

Neverending Ghetto. . .

2010-12-03T17:45:00.001-06:00

The sun is slowly setting in the west and the sky is lit bright with warm pastels of pink, orange and blue. The grumbling diesel of the concrete pump is a familiar sound that thankfully is overriding the angry back and forth of some supposed "contractors."

The law hath been laid by the architect and bulkhead is the answer that will haunt these motorheads over the next few nights as they kill the pain of their own idiocy with their drug of choice.

Two loads of concrete have so far been rejected and as the day turns into night and regular hours turn into overtime, well, I'd like to be positive and say that all will be o-tay Buckwheat. Yet, we are in the deep ghetto where I spent my early morning hours watching these characters sell and use drugs all morning long in the wide open.

I do have my trusty sidekick though and one hopes that this beautiful sunset will not be my last as our work goes into the night. . .

. . .but I guarantee one thing, if I am going out, then I'm taking a few of these worthless urchins with me in a blaze of glory. There would be no other way to be. And just for the safety of our construction industry, I might take a few of these "contractors" too.

- Sent from my iPhone

The Rules. . .

2010-12-03T15:38:00.001-06:00

The first rule of construction is: don't order all of your concrete until you are absolutely sure you are prepared to place it.

The second rule is: if you can't figure out rule #1, then get a job at McDonald's were fucking shit up is rule #1.

$4200 is now circling the toilet not to mention the charge for the concrete pump. TGIF! And thank god I'm not the one who is gonna eat that bill.

I think I'll be visiting the local watering hole after this disaster. Bring on the Heineken!

- Sent from my iPhone

Victor's Vector. . .

2010-12-02T15:29:00.001-06:00

These big X's mean don't land here. . .

. . .and not just because the runway has a massive hole in the middle of it. If those portajohns get knocked over, it's gonna be a real mess!

- Sent from my iPhone

The Levels Of Crazy. . .

2010-12-02T15:10:00.002-06:00

I apologize in advance for this old story, but it's the first I've ever heard of it and I don't miss too many of these Internet sensations.

First a little background:

Black kid gets slapped by white teacher and angry black mother with a huge racial chip on her shoulder goes head first off the deep end into a rambling 40-page screed/demand letter, which on the surface seemed legitimate and well-constructed until she. . .well, I won't ruin it for you. Yes, it's 40 pages, but worth every minute of your time.

We all know crazy people, but there are differing levels of crazy. How can we forget that lady who had all the plastic surgery in an effort to look more like a tiger for her husband but ended up looking like some puffed-up, hideous, circus sideshow reject? Or these women who have their breasts inflated to sizes so large that the English alphabet is no longer valid. "Yes I need a bra in the size 44 quadruple omicron." Or the old man in Idaho who scoured out the side of a mountain and built himself a house from junkyard rubbish. Certainly crazy all of them.

But this woman has exceeded all of that by a factor of unimaginable scale, down to the point of requesting that no HAARP microwaves be beamed in the direction of her city nor her precious child in order to make her supplicate to the will of the white man's "prison industrial complex" or something.

Yes indeed, this woman hath brought a whole new meaning to the word crazy and "bat shit" nor "nuttier than a Christmas fruitcake" don't even come close to describing how unhinged this woman is. I looked up slang terms for crazy and all the old standards were there. I think the only one that might marginally describe this lady is "fuck knuckle." So we will go with that.

Meet the Fuck Knuckle of the century.

- Sent from my iPhone

Hello And Goodbye. . .

2010-12-01T08:31:00.003-06:00

I have a few minutes at my desk this morning before I jet back out the door to Lord knows what kind of contractor stupidity today, so I thought I'd share something special with you.

Mayonnaise.

Many years ago, and in a different life, I used to cook professionally and sometimes unprofessionally but that's another story. We were readying for Thanksgiving at the Ritz-Carlton and this particular hotel, and maybe others within the chain, offered a full take-away turkey dinner complete with all the accoutrements for the low, low price of about $12499. No, it was a couple of hundred, but frankly I always felt it was ridiculously over-priced for what you ultimately took home. However, it was in Palm Beach and those folks have some serious money, even though the better deal was across the street at the Publix grocery store.

Alas, I remember standing in the banquet kitchen looking at the length of the preparation tables which were studded with dozens of pinkish-white, glistening, slimy, and smelly turkey bodies all being salted and peppered for eventual roasting. The banquet chef Kristoff, a portly German fellow with a shiny bald head barked loudly across the way, "Bring the 25 gallons of mayonnaise!"

Do you remember the old Scooby Doo cartoons when a ghost would sneak up behind Scooby and his head would spin around with the classic Scooby refrain, "Auuuurrrruuuuu?" That was exactly my reaction, but who was to argue with a hulking German chef?

Kristoff spun the lid off the first gallon and plunged his mighty hamfist inside, scooping out a huge mound of the pale white gelatinous goo and began slathering it all over the nearest bird. Before you knew it there were dozens of hands at work smearing the turkeys with the most unlikeliest of ingredients.

Much of the time in a banquet kitchen is spent completing mindless tasks like prepping vegetables or tending to large vats of bubbling animal bone reductions. During those quiet hours is when I would usually get my best thinking done such as conjuring up my next complex scheme to get the crystal green-eyed banquet server from Vermont to dump her douchenozzle boyfriend and go out with me instead. Yes, these were matters of the utmost importance of that time and eventually my well-defined and carefully crafted planning worked in my behalf. But on this day, all I could think of was the smearing of mayonnaise on turkeys and how utterly absurd it seemed to be doing such a thing. I mean really, mayonnaise??

Luckily, I am one of those fools who keeps his mouth shut lest I prove to the world how much of an idiot I truly am and in this case I was happy with my restraint to not question Kristoff's decision-making. Because, and I say this with complete sincerity, once those turkeys emerged from the humming bank of convection ovens they were the most golden brown and glorious looking roasted birds I had ever seen in my life. They were almost regal, nearly majestic, with crisp, brown caramelized skin and abundant juiciness of which I had never seen before.

Those birds were simply spectacular! It was as almost if they had spent a leisurely week drinking mojitos and lounging around the pool at some posh South Beach Miami hotel. It was like they were tanned. And with that notion, a giant mayonnaise filled lightbulb went off in my head. It was like they were tanned. Kristoff, you mad fucking German genius! You gave those birds a tan!

And indeed, that is exactly the function of the mayonnaise. It serves as a moisturizer as the fat within the mayonnaise renders, much like a tanning oil or lotion would on a person. Those fats help maintain the natural moisture of the bird, allowing the sugars present in the skins to caramelize into a nice, evenly brown hue.

I laugh about that fateful day, but I learned a wonderful lesson from Kristoff and every holiday before I cook a turkey I lather that son of a bitch up in mayonnaise just like old times and it has yet to fail me. However, I do modify the recipe somewhat, simply because I cannot leave a good thing well enough alone.

Thanks Kristoff, because of you my holidays are filled with friends, family and. . .mayonnaise.

A word of caution, as the birds below indicate, mayonnaise is flammable, especially if you leave the birds in the oven at 550 degrees for about 5 hours. But you know, this was the work of a French chef, not a German one.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to step away from tradition like I did this year. I made chili. And without mayonnaise.

Music Is My Drug. . .

2010-11-30T09:46:00.000-06:00

And sometimes it takes me far, far away from here to a very happy and more simplified time in my life. Not to say that I'm not happy now, it's just back then it was easier for me to not give a shit. It is so hard for me to believe that this song is nearly 14 years old! So many wonderful things have happened since then, and of course, a few I'd rather forget about.

There are many episodes in life that fit into a middle ground of good and bad times, or maybe best described as unforgettable ground like the time Nils and I got pulled over in Homestead, Florida after having a rip-roaring morning, afternoon, and evening at a local watering hole in Islamorada. Little did the young policeman know that we were harboring a felonious quantity of illicit materials inside the vehicle and. . .well, let's save those gritty and hilarious details for another day. Here is a song that brings back some of those "higher" times. . .

Make The Call. . .

2010-11-19T13:43:00.001-06:00

Esto es muy inquietante.

And I mean muy. The invasion is nearly complete.

- Sent from my iPhone

Busy Busy Workie Workie. . .

2010-11-19T13:36:00.001-06:00

Hey, where ya been?

Right here at the great hole in the ground, which promptly filled up with water this week and has turned easy work into total FUBAR!

TGIF!!!!

- Sent from my iPhone

Scary. . .

2010-11-12T12:18:00.001-06:00

. . .doesn't even begin to describe this horror.

H/T: Nils

- Sent from my iPhone

Old Pony. . .

2010-11-11T13:41:00.001-06:00

An old 1966, just like the one I used to have. Sure do miss the old gal.

- Sent from my iPhone

Burning Down The House. . .

2010-11-11T13:39:00.001-06:00

Indeed.

- Sent from my iPhone

Thank You. . .

2010-11-11T09:56:00.001-06:00

. . .to all veterans past, present, and future for guarding, fighting, and dying for all the great virtues of this country.

If it weren't for people like you, your current commander-in-chief couldn't be gallivanting around the world all but ignoring your great sacrifice. And I wouldn't have the freedom to complain about it.

God bless all of you and may the good Lord give strength to our deployed forces fighting the good fight to keep freedom alive for us and for those that seek to be free!

Also, a very Happy Birthday to the United States Marine Corps yesterday, who have always been the first to go and last to know when asked to sacrifice for us. Go get 'em, Devils Dogs!

- Sent from my iPhone

Belzoni, Mississippi

2010-11-10T17:24:00.001-06:00

I drove through Belzoni today which is the Catfish Capital of the World as proudly displayed on the sign leading into town.

But it was another sign, a hand-painted one, lazily spray-painted in bleeding letters actually, and haphazardly propped against the rusting hulk of an ancient farm implement that proudly advertised the following. . .

We clean deers

Oh really?

Well, what about mooses, geeses, and mices? Or shrimps? Or even black-feeted minks?

Seems so narrow-minded to focus only on one things!

- Sent from my iPhone

Fun Stuff!

2010-11-05T12:58:00.000-06:00

We've been having a blast today over at the Big Feed. Stop by and have some with us.

Help Me. . .

2010-11-04T07:25:00.001-06:00

Ok, I'm still trying to figure this one out.

First, the United States is broke. Yet, we can pack up nearly the entire staff of the White House, rent 800 rooms in the Taj Hotel for two nights, take planes, helicopters, countless vehicles AND 34 warships so that Obama can visit Mumbai, India. And for WHAT???? For what????

What grand plan do we have with India that requires such expense and trouble on both sides of the planet? And really isn't this visit just going to agitate the Pakistanis, our "allies" in the War on ______________ (enter words in the blank which we aren't supposed to use any longer). These same Pakistanis whose secret services helped (still do) fund and mobilize the Taliban in Afghanistan for over 20 years?

I just can't figure it. I understand that Obama wants to tuck tail and get outta town for a bit after being drubbed in the election, but holy fuck man! Nearly half a billion dollars to do so? Go hide out at Camp David for a week and invite Indian Prime Minister Singh there on his freakin' dollar! The Indians have got plenty of money.

I dunno, to me it just doesn't make sense. It's not like we are brokering some large scale weapons agreement or some gigantic transnational pipeline project with India. It seems as if Obama has finally got his piece of the pie and is moving on up.

I just read this piece from a Hindu news source:

There has been a good “working progress” on the elimination of obstacles created by dual-use controls of the U.S. as governments of both countries were of the view that the issue need to be reviewed in order to reduce and “ultimately eliminate” it, Ms. Rao said.

She also disclosed that India has invited U.S. companies to explain to them the provisions of its domestic civil nuclear liability law and address their concerns, if any, and also begin discussions on the next steps of implementation of civil nuclear power projects.

I'm not sure why these discussions require the entire White House, much less President Buckethead, to attend direct talks on matters that can surely be handled at the State Department level or lower. Even security issues can be negotiated at a level much lower than the presidential mark. Yet, we have to rent an entire hotel for this and trail 34 warships in the waters off of India? To talk about civil nuclear power and dual-use technology prohibitions?

Forgive me for saying this but. . .I can't wait for this shameless, petty, lying, thin-skinned, self-serving douche to be evicted from the White House come 2012 and it won't be a day too soon. We are the laughing stock of the world thanks to Obama and frankly, we deserve it for electing such a loser.

Washington DC Perhaps?

2010-11-03T14:28:00.000-06:00

Actually, this is outside Abilene, Texas.

H/T: Nils

Blood In The Streets. . .

2010-11-03T13:51:00.001-06:00

It's over. And by that, I mean the two years of political insanity that has enveloped this country in a shroud of misery and frustration since the coronation of King Obama is done like the Christmas turkey. Pray that this new group of Republicans can shake off the filthy politics of Washington DC and provide common sense solutions to our common problems.

At some point, these idiotic politicians need to realize that spend, spend, spend is doing nothing but digging, digging, digging a gigantic finanical hole that we are likely to not get out of for decades, if ever. If the people that "run" our country were in charge of a publicly traded entity, they would have been sacked by their shareholders many months ago. You don't have to be an economic genius to realize that spending more than you have is bad for business.

I am pleased at the results of last night's elections, but I don't let the excitement get to my head. Once this new group arrives in Washington, it will be a very long, uphill battle to solvency for this nation. And it's unlikely that Demoncrats, stung by the losses, will cooperate on many issues even though our fearless leader Obama has offered to reach out and embrace the new Congress. He's made a healthy living at lying, why believe him now?

At a minimum, maybe a little fiscal sanity will be restored, that's all we can hope for really. Politics is politics, a filthy business in which the squeaky palm gets the grease, but heaving out a good portion of the folks who got us into the mess is a fine start.

Can't wait till 2012.

Yeah. . .

2010-11-02T08:05:00.002-06:00

. . .there is no rational explanation for this photograph.

- Sent from my iPhone

The Truth Speaks. . .

2010-11-02T07:53:00.004-06:00

More proof that "free" healthcare is the furthest thing from free.

Not only is the cost high on every living and hard-working taxpayer, the cost could potentially be higher for the doctors that treat us.

H/T: T-Bone

It's Monday. . .

2010-11-01T07:31:00.001-06:00

. . .and I have nothing to say. Plus I am headed to the airport to check on the giant bathtub we made in the middle of the runway. And just in time for more rain too!

For your entertainment, I suggest you go to the following blogs:

Weasel Zippers

The Daily Caller

This Blog is Full of Crap

Creeping Sharia

Victor Hanson

Oh and just because, there is this for consideration. . .

On The Road. . .

2010-10-29T07:28:00.001-06:00

Well, I and the lucky travel lizard are on the road again, destination: Natchez.

Thankfully, we finally had some substantial rain this week, which has managed to slow the work load down a bit. However, a mid-week rain usually means Saturday work, but let's hope that's not the case. Man could use a whole weekend off after working every weekend since my birthday party.

Saturday means college football and my lousy, but beloved Ole Miss Rebels are playing the #1 ranked Auburn Tigers this weekend and the best we can hope for is a competitive match. Unlikely to see that, but at least some cold adult beverages will take the sting out of a 55-14 blowout.

Can't complain about the weather either. It is absolutely spectacular!

How y'all doin'?

- Sent from my iPhone

Yawn.

2010-10-27T12:07:00.003-06:00

Yes, I know it's been pretty boring around here lately. I apologize for that, but hey, sometimes there just ain't shit going on in my brain outside of the daily bump and grind of work. Lately work has been just that.

We are currently working on a runway improvement project at the local international airport. So for you pilots that are flying into Jackson, please do not use runway 16L/34R as it will be very, very bad for you. You know, just in case you don't happen to notice on your approach the giant blinking X's at each end of the runway or the football field-sized 8 foot deep hole on the middle of the runway. Just sayin'.

Other than that, not much has been happening. On the feline front, Black Kitty, sadly, has gone missing. We have had a pack of coyotes around the house over the last several weeks. I've heard them squabbling in the woods north of the house and last Friday at dusk just below the pond dam. It sounds as if there are many young 'yotes, so I expect the mothers are teaching them to hunt. For Black Kitty's sake I hope it was a swift death, if this is in fact what happened to him. I suspect I will not be so kind to these animals in return.

I have already hardened myself to the fact that I am going to massacre these devilish critters simply for revenge. And frankly, these animals are so prolific in their reproductive rates they can easily decimate the stocks of the local farmers with ease, so that helps ease my struggle with the killing of animals by my own hands.

Anywho, other than that, not much is new. Captain Thurston is back online over at The Big Feed and I have been doing a little light posting also. Maybe you can stop by there for a read in the interim. I'll get back to my usual whatnot and notwhat here pretty soon.

Like, maybe right now!

Indeed. . .

2010-10-26T09:13:00.001-06:00

A sign on highway 182 in Amelia, Louisiana.

H/T: Nils

- Sent from my iPhone

Oh Really?

2010-10-22T09:59:00.001-06:00

The world is a crazy place and filled with signs.

Today's sign is brought to you by the inefficient McDonald's corporation who reminds you that it is YOU, the customer, who must comply with THEIR rules to ensure that you receive prompt and courteous service.

I almost agree with this, however, given McDonald's poor quality of service I am tempted to exclaim, "suck my chicken biscuit you sorry bastards!"

You people can't even manage a smile or any manner of courteousness, nor do you maintain the skill-set needed to look at a pictogam to build a very simple four part food product!

The next sign is brought to us by the local Texaco station and the Madison County District Attorney's office.

Have we devolved as a society to such degree that tax revenues need to be spent on 5 inch square stickers to remind John Q. Public that robbery is a felony? Are we that fucking stupid? What are people being taught these days?

"Now listen here son, if you gone rob dat sto, don't be usin' no gun!"

And finally, from the department of bad taste we have the local story of Danny's Cabaret which has erected a new sign in Jackson featuring a buxom and attractive blonde in a bikini (unlikely to find such a thing at Danny's). And the sign proclaims, "Strippers love to climb our pole."

Naturally, this has caused quite the disturbance within the city limits of conservative Jackson and the powers that be are doing what they can to have the sign removed. This problem is of such magnitude, it has managed to make front page news not once, but twice, and just goes to show you how many important things are happening in Jackson these days. Forget the crime, the drugs, the ex-cop's son who is involved in a multiple-victim shooting or even less important things like the decaying roads and shelled out ghettos that harbor vast numbers of derelicts, criminals and societal defectives.

Yep. It's all about stripper poles. Down with dirty double entendres!! And to me, that is a sign within itself. Welcome to the downside of America. Nice knowing you.

Sent from my iPhone

Pot, Kettle, Black

2010-10-20T09:36:00.001-06:00

I am sick of it. Just sick of it.

I saw this article today on another attempt from the NAACP to marginalize the Tea Party as a racist organization. Now, one could argue that an organization formed for the advancement of a particular segment of society solely based on skin color (as their name implies) is inherently racist. However, I elect to dig a little deeper to expose the racism of the NAACP and their collusion with other anti-white and anti-Semitic groups. One should look squarely in the mirror of truth before leveling an accusatory finger at others.

Let's see:

The NAACP has no problem attending religious functions with an avowed anti-white, anti-Jewish group. Nor does the NAACP have the wherewithal to condemn the actions of the blatantly racist New Black Panther Party as they called on the public to "kill some crackers." And somehow they find great humor in remarks from the blowhard Jeremiah Wright as he mocked white people at an NAACP event. Oh and let's not forget, Jeremiah Wright is the man who indoctrinated our current president for over twenty years in a Black Power church in Chicago. Yeah, they call it liberation theology, but, I call butter emulsified cow titty juice too. It's the same thing. No manner of semantics can cover up the reality of it.

So Mr. and Mrs. NAACP, before you go leveling the polarizing charge of racism maybe a quick look around you might open your eyes to your own reality. Or then again, sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees and even more difficult when you are the pot, the kettle and the black.

Worry. . .

2010-10-20T06:52:00.001-06:00

- Sent from my iPhone

These Photographs. . .

2010-10-19T21:35:00.001-06:00

. . .have absolutely nothing in common.

Or do they?

- Sent from my iPhone

Dr. Doolittle. . .

2010-10-19T08:06:00.001-06:00

. . .strikes again.

Last week a bird got into the office fluttering around in a wild panic from wall to wall. So the girls, knowing I am a lover of all creatures great and small, put me on the case.

I chased that little bugger for half an hour until I finally trapped him in the plans room. He flew from one corner to the other in a frightened tizzy and finally slid down inside of a rolled up set of construction plans, essentially and inadvertently trapping himself. And I was glad for that as all of my master plans of entrapment were shredded by this flappy bird.

So, I sealed off each end of the roll and carried it outside setting the little bird free.

He seemed no worse for wear with only a small scrape on his little bird noggin and after a moments rest on the sidewalk he flew away to resume his bird life of whatever small birds do daily.

- Sent from my iPhone

The Final Call. . .

2010-10-16T08:29:00.001-06:00

This character is a loving disciple of Louis Farrakhan's Nation of Islam.

You don't see them as often as you used to, but they are still out there spreading anti-white and anti-Semitic hate through their weekly newspaper, The Final Call. And also you can buy a bag of plums too.

I remember years ago my dad trying to coax the guy over with a dollar to buy the paper, but as expected, we were denied the opportunity to learn from the glorious insights of Farrakhan and his festering and hateful neophytes who write for his paper.

I checked the Final Call's website and sure enough not much has changed. There was an article about how "real" slavery still exists in Mississippi even though it was abolished through the bloodshed of hundreds of thousands of white and black Americans.

I guess it never occurred to Farrakhan that "real" slavery still exists in his beloved homeland along with worse things like civil war with all of it's delightful characteristics like gang rape, mutilations, and the forced enlistment of child soldiers.

And I suppose that it never occured to Farrakhan that Arabs were one of the largest organizers of the slave trading industry as they have been enslaving blacks and others centuries before the "white" man got involved.

He should be thankful for the Arabs. They are also responsible for forcing the hideous religion of Islam upon any and all non-believer including Africans. So, without the wonderful writings of Muhammed, where would you find the inspiration for all of your hate Mr. Farrakhan?

- Sent from my iPhone

No!

2010-10-16T08:13:00.001-06:00

You cannot have the last towel!

Beneath me is the washing machine. You remember what that is, right?

By the way, get me a can of tuna while you are standing there dripping wet like a dumbass.

- Sent from my iPhone

Understandable. . .

2010-10-16T08:09:00.001-06:00

I am well aware that liberalism is a sickness for which there is no cure. And just when you think they cannot lean any further left of "nutty as a Christmas fruitcake", they surprise us again.

Some things in life defy explanation and others, well, they defy all modicum of sanity and normalcy.

Here is another example of liberal idiocy run amok.

Heaven help us come November.

- Sent from my iPhone

I Don't Know. . .

2010-10-15T11:53:00.001-06:00

. . .who this guy is, but he looks like he belongs on Saved By The Bell.

- Sent from my iPhone

Since 4:30. . .

2010-10-14T05:30:00.002-06:00

Cha-clunk! Cha-clunk! Cha-clunk!

Well, I guess this is better than prison.

- Sent from my iPhone

Tuesday!

2010-10-12T15:48:00.002-06:00

What is that? Just another day right? A rather mundane day isn't it? Tucked right in there between Monday the Heinous and Wednesday the Hump. I bet Tuesday feels left out because of its relative insignificance. Even Thursday gets props every now and then because it is "almost Friday!"

Poor poor Tuesday.

Would you believe that Tuesday is named for Mars, the Roman god of war? At least in the Latin based languages it is. Martes is Spanish for Tuesday . From Old English (and I ain't talking about that shitty malt liquor) it is derived from Tiw's Day, or Tiwaz or Tyr, a god of war and law. Such a strange name for what is a relatively and generally benign day of the week.

This makes me want to spice Tuesday up a little bit. Let's make war on something!

I made mention of the company refrigerator a day or so ago and anyone who has worked in an office setting knows the horrors of the kitchen fridge. These convenient cooling apparatuses are useful for storing beverages (or brebages: a joke only three people understand), food products and the occasional needle of ~~heroin~~ insulin. These communal boxes oftentimes are turned into impromptu science experiments as more and more food, some half-eaten, some not touched for eons, gets piled upon and piled upon by more food and before you know it the thing is a very much living and breathing creature. I am sure living in our fridge is a yet to be discovered antibiotic to fight the latest strains of flesh eating bacteria.

I looked in our refrigerator the other day ignoring the rampant decay and miscellaneous swollen bags of indescribable goo to find this oddity. . .

What kind of a society do we live in where there is a market for pre-prepared peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? What disturbs me most is not the fact that we have become so lazy we can't even slap together two pieces of bread to make one of the most satisfying creations of all time, but that in some far away factory there is a giant, humming whirligig sawing the crusts off these sandwiches. Are we that lazy?

Do you understand how much time and effort was put into the development, testing and eventual production of this gastronomic monstrosity? The cost is probably in the tens of millions of dollars from start to finish in labor and time costs, development studies, blind taste panels, measurement, weighing, and calculation, packaging, recipe formulation and in the end, a multi-million dollar rotating and vibrating knife to remove the proper amount of crusts from this sandwich. I feel for the person who sits at the bar at night telling his friends all about his day of watching this thing operate.

Do yourselves a favor America. Get off your fucking ass and do it yourself. While some things may be good for the economy, buying this garbage is not one of them. And since this thing has been living in the refrigerator for months, I think I will take it home and shoot it with a gun. It most certainly deserves a quick death as does its original idea. Thanks Smucker's, you fuckers!

Electric!

2010-10-12T09:11:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the future!

Fairy demonstrates the latest in electric car technology which she describes as "a golf cart on steroids." She added however, that she managed a pretty good burnout in the parking lot.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that she's driving on the wrong side though. This here's America little girl, we drive on the right and damn sure don't pass no duchy on the left-hand side!!

- Sent from my iPhone

Bang Bang. . .

2010-10-11T14:31:00.000-06:00

Because having it and not using it is a lot better than not having it and becoming a victim.

I spend a lot of time in and around the ghettos of Jackson, which nowadays, pretty much encompasses the entire town. And unfortunately, most of this time is at odd hours, the wee hours of morning or near dusk in the evenings. The perfect time for the scum and scoundrels that wreak havoc here to attempt some form of stupidity on a cracker in the wrong part of town.

The defense loads I carry are Corbon 125-grain DPX hollow points. These are a mid-weight round with excellent ballistics and penetration statistics. I figure if some dumb bastard wants to do a little "frontin'" on the man, well, man is gonna have a pretty good opportunity to stop that idiocy with little effort. Man loves gun.

Ok, get back to work you slackers. I'm gonna go check out what's going on in the company refrigerator. I should probably take my gun for that too. Never know what is lurking behind closed doors.

Nom Nom Nom. . .

2010-10-10T19:44:00.001-06:00

I can haz flying potato chip!

- Sent from my iPhone

I Love. . .

2010-10-10T19:41:00.002-06:00

. . .the ghetto grocery store.

Where else can you get gallon jugs of pickled pork hock for $5.00?

- Sent from my iPhone

Junkyard Bird??

2010-10-10T09:52:00.002-06:00

Nils and I have been perfecting our international bird photography for years, but even experienced photographers like ourselves come across a new and exciting surprise every now and then.

Below is Brunhilda, a white cockatoo, who greeted us with a friendly hello as we entered a junkyard somewhere in West Palm Beach over ten years ago. She was a curious bird and kept and eye on our every move and even took a moment to pose nicely for my old Canon Eos Élan IIeQD film camera. Yes, a film camera. Sounds crazy doesn't it?

I should probably get that old camera out and start using it again. Nils and I filmed a lot of wonderful birds with it.

Bird!

- Sent from my iPhone

Shadowed. . .

2010-10-09T20:34:00.001-06:00

Me and mom, hanging in the dark.

- Sent from my iPhone

You. . .

2010-10-09T20:32:00.001-06:00

. . .son of a bitch!

I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I am going to ram it into your stomach!!!!

- Sent from my iPhone