Favorites
People often ask me what my favorite food is. My typical response is any food that I didn't have to cook.
Like this simple dish of tuna and avocado.
Hey assholes
You know those big fucking signs in the highway that say slow the fuck down and drive at least 40 miles per hour slower than you are willing to go?
They ain't just out there for looks.
Worst President Ever
So, it only makes sense that he makes the worst decisions ever.
God help this nation.
National Doughnut Day
Today is National Doughnut Day, which just as with National Talk Like a Pirate day, I never knew existed.
So go out and enjoy a dougnut.
This is my favorite doughnut:
Yeah, I know she's not a doughnut, but the government is watching my every move so I must use code. The above is code for doughnut. Ssshhhhh! Don't tell anyone!
Read more...
New Additions
Our very young female cat, Ginger, recently gave birth to five healthy little bundles of big trouble. They are a month old today. The top kitty is Gizmo, the middle orange tabby is Bopsy and the last one we have yet to name. The striped fellow in the middle picture is tentatively named Wildcat Jr., but we might also name him Wibbly Wobbly or Chicken Leg Snake Bone.
Your thoughts? Read more...
Prefrontal Cortex
You know what's embedded in my prefrontal cortex? These people running our country have no idea what they are doing.
Stupid, stupid, STUPID!
Eat it
Is it just me or is anyone else sick and tired of these self-important, rich, smarmy douchebags that preach down to the common man and take up petty, insignificant causes that, in the end, don't mean a goddamn fucking thing for anyone involved?
Hey Ben Aflac, go fuck yourself. If you want to feel the pain, then write a check for your entire net worth to a homeless guy and go live in a dirty cardboard box on the streets of Boston for the rest of your life. While you're at it, ease on down to the welfare office and get an EBT card and a free Obamaphone. Then maybe you can feel the pain of the impoverished while you stuff the hard earned dollars of the average American joe in the g-string of a bar rot infested tranny hooker in Stoughton.
The gall of these people. . .
And by the way Ben, that movie you made with Matt Damon when you guys were the bad angels? Yeah, that piece of shit. God should strike you down for blasphemy against the entire notion of sanity and things of worth.
Yay team!
And just whose side are these people on?
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Mighty Mite Midget Monkey
No!
No, no, no, no, no!
Not in a millon years you dirty fucking earwig of a shit.
I'd rather retain my freedoms, my guns, my bad eating habits, my money via less taxes than subject myself to more unecessary police intervention into my life. If a terrorist blows me up then so be it, but if I survive, I'd rather have the opportunity to drop him like a rock with my .44 than to cower in my home defenseless and scared.
I'd like to see one of these goat-fuckers pull off some sort of madness in the Deep South. They wouldn't make it to the end of the block before someone cut him in two with a one of those scary looking guns you people are intent on taking away from us. And that's the way it ought to be.
Up your asshole with a trans-fat laden hot dog full of hookworms, midget.
We have Peepers!
4 this year, and big!
Sorry for posting pictures of pictures, but, well really I'm not sorry. Live with it, toads.
Do you know what else they have a lot of in Puerto Rico?
Read more...
Luck?
This guy either needs to live in a bunker for all eternity or buy a lottery ticket ASAP.
Read more...Headline from Drudge...
COP ON SCANNER: 'He is posting online -- "I will kill all of you, as you killed my brother" '...
Well, boo-fucking-hoo. What about the 8-year old boy, and might I add INNOCENT boy, who you sheared in half with a goddamned bomb you piece of shit!
I hope they drag you out of there by your testicles and inject you with Ebola, lock your evil ass up in a dark room to die slowly and alone crying to your miserable God and weak Prophet for help. Very fucking slowly coward.
Eat crow
Caw caw!
Well, in a way I am glad I was wrong. But I wasn't as wrong as this asshole, nor these dirty fucks, or this psycho, and this one.
Gee, another example of media bias?
Say is ain't so Fred! You're giving away the store!
The problems will only be larger now that we have begun to unravel the mystery, and very large questions loom and the answers will be very, very ugly.
Are we going to begin flying drones over Chechnya? I bet ol' Pooty-Poot will have something to say about that.
I have three large suggestions American government:
1. Close our borders for 6 months and stop immigration completely from countries that are menacing the world. There will be no large-scale economic impact from stopping Chechen nationals from coming here. Trading goods is one thing, but hordes of people entering this country willy-nilly must be stopped.
2. Investigate thoroughly every Muslim, Russian, Uzbek, Turk, Syrian, etc, etc, etc living, working, and visiting within the United States. These radical islamists apparently want us to live in a police state so lets start acting like one.
3. Nuke the Middle East. This is the hotbed and birthplace of radical Islam and there is no way in the next century that these goat-fucking, vagina-mutilating, acid-in-the-face throwing, honor killing, lying, scheming, fuzzy-faced degenerates will ever reform Islam into something that can catch up with the 21st century. The Japanese had a similarly radical and vicious ideology and look what happened to them after a couple of hydrogen bombs. All they want to do is watch crazy porn and dress up like weird cartoon characters.
Can you imagine the jubilation of the Middle East is someone like Iran gets the bomb and drops it on us or some American interest overseas? This ideology is so cowardly that they have no trouble leaving a backpack full of explosives next to an 8-year old boy. What happens if it's a nuke next time? Or Sarin gas? Or some other awful weapon?
There is only one God and he is the Atom. And he is the most powerful thing in the Universe. And it's about fucking time we use him. These people should be exterminated like the cockroaches they are. They are filthy, perverted, evil and genetically inferior to the advanced Human cultures that inhabit this planet. Kill them.
Yes. Kill them.
Wax off
Yes Mr. Ketchup, people are terrified of coming to the USA because of our guns.
What are you some kind of all-seeing, all-knowing proto-God? Do you understand the entirety of Japanese understanding our the Second Amendment? When was the last time a Japanese tourist was killed by a law-abiding gun owner in the United States?
God these people are stupid. And they run our country.
Read more...
Round and round he goes
Lucky Travel Lizard: Where we going today, Chief Picks-a-lot-of-boogers?
Me: We are going to the coastal town of Gautier.
Lucky Travel Lizard: Like Jean-Paul?
Me: No. We pronounce it like go-shay. And the town of Saucier we pronounce like so-shay.
Lucky Travel Lizard: Well, isn't that so-gay! And terrifically uninteresting, but not surprising that Mississippians have been bastardizing one of the most beautiful Romance languages for 200 years.
Me: Laissez les bons temps rouler!
Lucky Travel Lizard: Did you just call me a motherfucker!?
Me: Hey, how do you like your new rock garden?
Lucky Travel Lizard: Oh, is that what it is? I've been calling it the Dashboard Tray of Death every time you take a corner at speed. Thought you might be getting some kind of psychotic thrill out of watching me scramble for my life, Emperor Commodius.
Me: His name was Commodus. Anyway, I thought you might like the scenery. Or you can talk to them.
Lucky Travel Lizard: Can I? Can I? Rocks don't talk, Emperor Dumbassius!
Me: Exactly.
Read more...
New Management
Yes, the world is under new management and they are burning it to the fucking ground, hoss.
Fucking idiot.
Tired yet?
Is anyone else tired of this shit?
I know I am.
Tired of it.
Sick and tired.
Plain ol' tired.
Tuckered out kinda tired.
Plain pooped out tired.
Pitchforks, anyone?
Shameful
I usually don't keep up with the gossip column much, but every now and then I peruse the British Telegraph newspaper for a bit of a diversion.
This is what qualifies as English and a "concerned" black man in America today:
‘I'm just a regular guy so I be thinking, man I hope nobody's hitting that."
And furthermore:
‘If it was another girl it would be cool, I ain't with that if it was another guy.’
Why not?
Legalize it, industrialize it, regulate it, and tax it heavily.
Many many problems would vanish in a instant. Jails would empty of non-violent offenders, tax revenue would go up, powerful cartels would be undermined and everyone would just chill out for a while.
Shit. Pot can't be any worse than some of the food that legitimate industry markets to us on a daily basis.
Damn skippy and nippy!
Goddamn if have the men on the planets had the balls that these women do then most of our world problems would vanish.
Proud of these women for standing up to oppression when no one else will.
There are breasts so beware.
Hair club
In spite of the potential of his whackadoodle policy judgements as Energy Secretary, this mofo has got one kickass hairdo.
There are hairdos and hair-dont's, but this thing qualifies for some new category. He is some kind of strange mix between Dr. Strangelove and Dr. Gonzo.
Oddly, all three are doctors.
And the new guy. . .
Read more...
Curious
The funny thing is I just called Sallie Mae this morning to INCREASE the amount of money I pay each month for my student loan.
I guess I don't qualify to be a mooching, non-productive, piece-of-shit, gimmie-gimmie asshole who'd rather jet out at the first sign of trouble rather than be a responsible human being and do anything necessary to provide for myself and my debts.
But then again, I don't call people after 9:00 p.m. either, which makes me different I suppose.
Time out!
What month is this again?
And what state do I live in?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Read more...
Dog Control!
I think it's time for a national debate on banning assault dogs.
Super spaceman or not, he's a hypocritical asshole.
Again and again and again
We've talked about this before, haven't we?
If Liberals are going to try to change the mind of much of America about guns, then at least try to lay off the tired stereotypes, and at the very minimum, learn how to hold a fucking gun properly.
You're not even trying, but this is nothing new for our liberal betters.
Fly By Night
Amazing the things our government can and can't do without.
We can have the IRS producing Star Trek parodies in their own taxpayer funded studio, but we can't manage to keep air control towers open at smaller airports.
We can pay for food stamps for illegal aliens, but can't manage to pay for a tuition assistance program for our soldiers.
Why in the hell we aren't marching in the streets over this shit is beyond comprehension. Is America that far gone?
Homo-genous
Ah, here we go again.
Any good reason to beat up Mississippi, the state that is last in everything good and first in everything bad. This time its about gay people in small town, bum-fuck, rural Franklin County.
Hey, how about a story on a city that is filled to the rim with gay people and how they enjoy sodomizing one another in the streets in front of children during celebrations of their gayness?
Yeah, damn these ignorant rednecks for their Bible ways and backward thinking. Let's progress into the future so that Bude, MS too can have public masturbation and butt-fucking in their streets.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
