Welcome Back Kotter. . .

Well, just got back from a very relaxing vacation in Costa Rica. After years of living there, this is the first time I've ever been simply for vacationing. I even poured on the ol' nasty American tourist bit a few times in my favorite hangouts. Thank god they know me or I'd be dead.

"Hey amigo! Can you bring me a cerveza! Yeah, you know a cerveza! You know, you know, a beeeeeer! Bring me a beeeeeer! Jesus, why doesn't anyone speak English around here?"

Dear America,

Please remember that when you travel to other countries, you are no longer in America. There are not Wal-Marts and McDonalds on every corner, most roads a terrible, yes the airport is in fact, an open metal building without air-conditioning and most countries don't speak your language so open your empty brainhole and try their language for a change. Even if you say it wrong, it's better than not saying it at all.

Sincerely,
"an ashamed American"