Prefrontal Cortex
You know what's embedded in my prefrontal cortex? These people running our country have no idea what they are doing.
Stupid, stupid, STUPID!
Eat it
Is it just me or is anyone else sick and tired of these self-important, rich, smarmy douchebags that preach down to the common man and take up petty, insignificant causes that, in the end, don't mean a goddamn fucking thing for anyone involved?
Hey Ben Aflac, go fuck yourself. If you want to feel the pain, then write a check for your entire net worth to a homeless guy and go live in a dirty cardboard box on the streets of Boston for the rest of your life. While you're at it, ease on down to the welfare office and get an EBT card and a free Obamaphone. Then maybe you can feel the pain of the impoverished while you stuff the hard earned dollars of the average American joe in the g-string of a bar rot infested tranny hooker in Stoughton.
The gall of these people. . .
And by the way Ben, that movie you made with Matt Damon when you guys were the bad angels? Yeah, that piece of shit. God should strike you down for blasphemy against the entire notion of sanity and things of worth.
Yay team!
And just whose side are these people on?
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Mighty Mite Midget Monkey
No!
No, no, no, no, no!
Not in a millon years you dirty fucking earwig of a shit.
I'd rather retain my freedoms, my guns, my bad eating habits, my money via less taxes than subject myself to more unecessary police intervention into my life. If a terrorist blows me up then so be it, but if I survive, I'd rather have the opportunity to drop him like a rock with my .44 than to cower in my home defenseless and scared.
I'd like to see one of these goat-fuckers pull off some sort of madness in the Deep South. They wouldn't make it to the end of the block before someone cut him in two with a one of those scary looking guns you people are intent on taking away from us. And that's the way it ought to be.
Up your asshole with a trans-fat laden hot dog full of hookworms, midget.
We have Peepers!
4 this year, and big!
Sorry for posting pictures of pictures, but, well really I'm not sorry. Live with it, toads.
Do you know what else they have a lot of in Puerto Rico?
Read more...
Luck?
This guy either needs to live in a bunker for all eternity or buy a lottery ticket ASAP.
Read more...Headline from Drudge...
COP ON SCANNER: 'He is posting online -- "I will kill all of you, as you killed my brother" '...
Well, boo-fucking-hoo. What about the 8-year old boy, and might I add INNOCENT boy, who you sheared in half with a goddamned bomb you piece of shit!
I hope they drag you out of there by your testicles and inject you with Ebola, lock your evil ass up in a dark room to die slowly and alone crying to your miserable God and weak Prophet for help. Very fucking slowly coward.
Eat crow
Caw caw!
Well, in a way I am glad I was wrong. But I wasn't as wrong as this asshole, nor these dirty fucks, or this psycho, and this one.
Gee, another example of media bias?
Say is ain't so Fred! You're giving away the store!
The problems will only be larger now that we have begun to unravel the mystery, and very large questions loom and the answers will be very, very ugly.
Are we going to begin flying drones over Chechnya? I bet ol' Pooty-Poot will have something to say about that.
I have three large suggestions American government:
1. Close our borders for 6 months and stop immigration completely from countries that are menacing the world. There will be no large-scale economic impact from stopping Chechen nationals from coming here. Trading goods is one thing, but hordes of people entering this country willy-nilly must be stopped.
2. Investigate thoroughly every Muslim, Russian, Uzbek, Turk, Syrian, etc, etc, etc living, working, and visiting within the United States. These radical islamists apparently want us to live in a police state so lets start acting like one.
3. Nuke the Middle East. This is the hotbed and birthplace of radical Islam and there is no way in the next century that these goat-fucking, vagina-mutilating, acid-in-the-face throwing, honor killing, lying, scheming, fuzzy-faced degenerates will ever reform Islam into something that can catch up with the 21st century. The Japanese had a similarly radical and vicious ideology and look what happened to them after a couple of hydrogen bombs. All they want to do is watch crazy porn and dress up like weird cartoon characters.
Can you imagine the jubilation of the Middle East is someone like Iran gets the bomb and drops it on us or some American interest overseas? This ideology is so cowardly that they have no trouble leaving a backpack full of explosives next to an 8-year old boy. What happens if it's a nuke next time? Or Sarin gas? Or some other awful weapon?
There is only one God and he is the Atom. And he is the most powerful thing in the Universe. And it's about fucking time we use him. These people should be exterminated like the cockroaches they are. They are filthy, perverted, evil and genetically inferior to the advanced Human cultures that inhabit this planet. Kill them.
Yes. Kill them.
Wax off
Yes Mr. Ketchup, people are terrified of coming to the USA because of our guns.
What are you some kind of all-seeing, all-knowing proto-God? Do you understand the entirety of Japanese understanding our the Second Amendment? When was the last time a Japanese tourist was killed by a law-abiding gun owner in the United States?
God these people are stupid. And they run our country.
Read more...
Round and round he goes
Lucky Travel Lizard: Where we going today, Chief Picks-a-lot-of-boogers?
Me: We are going to the coastal town of Gautier.
Lucky Travel Lizard: Like Jean-Paul?
Me: No. We pronounce it like go-shay. And the town of Saucier we pronounce like so-shay.
Lucky Travel Lizard: Well, isn't that so-gay! And terrifically uninteresting, but not surprising that Mississippians have been bastardizing one of the most beautiful Romance languages for 200 years.
Me: Laissez les bons temps rouler!
Lucky Travel Lizard: Did you just call me a motherfucker!?
Me: Hey, how do you like your new rock garden?
Lucky Travel Lizard: Oh, is that what it is? I've been calling it the Dashboard Tray of Death every time you take a corner at speed. Thought you might be getting some kind of psychotic thrill out of watching me scramble for my life, Emperor Commodius.
Me: His name was Commodus. Anyway, I thought you might like the scenery. Or you can talk to them.
Lucky Travel Lizard: Can I? Can I? Rocks don't talk, Emperor Dumbassius!
Me: Exactly.
Read more...
New Management
Yes, the world is under new management and they are burning it to the fucking ground, hoss.
Fucking idiot.
Tired yet?
Is anyone else tired of this shit?
I know I am.
Tired of it.
Sick and tired.
Plain ol' tired.
Tuckered out kinda tired.
Plain pooped out tired.
Pitchforks, anyone?
Shameful
I usually don't keep up with the gossip column much, but every now and then I peruse the British Telegraph newspaper for a bit of a diversion.
This is what qualifies as English and a "concerned" black man in America today:
‘I'm just a regular guy so I be thinking, man I hope nobody's hitting that."
And furthermore:
‘If it was another girl it would be cool, I ain't with that if it was another guy.’
Why not?
Legalize it, industrialize it, regulate it, and tax it heavily.
Many many problems would vanish in a instant. Jails would empty of non-violent offenders, tax revenue would go up, powerful cartels would be undermined and everyone would just chill out for a while.
Shit. Pot can't be any worse than some of the food that legitimate industry markets to us on a daily basis.
Damn skippy and nippy!
Goddamn if have the men on the planets had the balls that these women do then most of our world problems would vanish.
Proud of these women for standing up to oppression when no one else will.
There are breasts so beware.
Hair club
In spite of the potential of his whackadoodle policy judgements as Energy Secretary, this mofo has got one kickass hairdo.
There are hairdos and hair-dont's, but this thing qualifies for some new category. He is some kind of strange mix between Dr. Strangelove and Dr. Gonzo.
Oddly, all three are doctors.
And the new guy. . .
Read more...
Curious
The funny thing is I just called Sallie Mae this morning to INCREASE the amount of money I pay each month for my student loan.
I guess I don't qualify to be a mooching, non-productive, piece-of-shit, gimmie-gimmie asshole who'd rather jet out at the first sign of trouble rather than be a responsible human being and do anything necessary to provide for myself and my debts.
But then again, I don't call people after 9:00 p.m. either, which makes me different I suppose.
Time out!
What month is this again?
And what state do I live in?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Read more...
Dog Control!
I think it's time for a national debate on banning assault dogs.
Super spaceman or not, he's a hypocritical asshole.
Again and again and again
We've talked about this before, haven't we?
If Liberals are going to try to change the mind of much of America about guns, then at least try to lay off the tired stereotypes, and at the very minimum, learn how to hold a fucking gun properly.
You're not even trying, but this is nothing new for our liberal betters.
Fly By Night
Amazing the things our government can and can't do without.
We can have the IRS producing Star Trek parodies in their own taxpayer funded studio, but we can't manage to keep air control towers open at smaller airports.
We can pay for food stamps for illegal aliens, but can't manage to pay for a tuition assistance program for our soldiers.
Why in the hell we aren't marching in the streets over this shit is beyond comprehension. Is America that far gone?
Homo-genous
Ah, here we go again.
Any good reason to beat up Mississippi, the state that is last in everything good and first in everything bad. This time its about gay people in small town, bum-fuck, rural Franklin County.
Hey, how about a story on a city that is filled to the rim with gay people and how they enjoy sodomizing one another in the streets in front of children during celebrations of their gayness?
Yeah, damn these ignorant rednecks for their Bible ways and backward thinking. Let's progress into the future so that Bude, MS too can have public masturbation and butt-fucking in their streets.
2 bits, 4 bits. . .
. . .6 bits, a dollar! All for pedophilia stand up and WTF?
What the hell is wrong with these women?
Hey babe, ever hear of a dildo?
Ugh
I was gonna do one of those attractive women from obscure places type post and today I decided to use Tajikistan. Big mistake.
Who would have thought that Tajik women accentuate their eyebrows to form a unibrow which is seen as a sign of, ahem, beauty? I gag just having to type that out.
Anyway, if you like unibrows, here ya go.
If not, then this is for you, you modern man:
I know, that was cruel. Apparently they are deficient in the attractive woman department.
This will make you feel better. . .a Canadian-Iranian woman with the last name Tajik. It's the best I can do. . .
Read more...
Boo-ters Girls
I knew a guy from Philly once. He lived in our laundry closet when I was in culinary school down in Florida. He was arrogant, loud-mouthed, stupid and generally ill-tempered and lazy. He was also a thief. He somehow managed to get kicked out of his apartment and came to me begging for help. If it weren't for his dog I would never have let him stay, but there was plenty of room with the dirty socks and underwear in the laundry closet.
Anyway, I said all of that to say this: Philadelphia fans can suck my ass. You've earned that reputation and you can keep it. No wonder your city is a slow-motion trainwreck.
Unknown Soldiers
They should always receive the honor of which their service to this country deserves.
Doesn't matter which side you fought on or how unknown you may have become.
La la la la la
This has been the longest day. El dia mas largo.
And in other news, the crazy radical nutter in the White House nominates another crazy radical nutter for a cabinet position.
Perez led the Obama administration's assault on voter ID laws last year. As John Fund and Hans von Spakovsky report in Who's Counting, as a member of the Montgomery County, Md., Council in 2003 he also tried to force governments to accept fraud-prone matricula consular ID cards issued by Mexican consular offices. He was a board member of Casa de Maryland, an advocacy group for illegal aliens funded by George Soros and the recently deceased Hugo Chavez.
That's all you need to know about that.
And for those of you who think voter ID law is racist. . .well, guess what sweet tits? It is!! Read more...
Ho ho Ho Chi Minh
So Black Santa, wouldn't this be a more appropriate use for a drone? Cutting the head off of a very venemous and psychotic snake instead of terrifying your own people as you trample the Constituiton?
Thank goodness for politicians like Rand Paul who are NOT afraid to stand up against tyranny and the lunatic fringe that are content with robbing the wealth of this country in the name of fairness, all the while they perch in their ivory towers and scowl at the serfs who keep chugging along in search of the American Dream of Freedom, Prosperity, Family and God.
Friends?
With enemies like this, who needs friends?
Not that Iraq is any great friend of ours even after the successful, but costly overthrow of Saddam by our troops. But the disaster of the situation in Syria is spilling over into Iraq will real consequences for the Iraqi military.
And I guess we support the rebels that snuck into a sovereign nation and killed 40 people? Is that correct Senators McCain and Graham?
I understand the "enemy of my enemy" principle behind this, but it would be smarter to wash our hands of it and let these desert retards fight it out for the next year. 5 years. 10 years. Who cares really?
Violence is all they understand. Let them have at it.
Sequester!
The sequester is so bad!!!!eleven!!ty!!!
So bad in fact, that it is snowing in Mississippi today! How will we survive!!??
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Paging Mr. Herman. . .
I tell you man, my rock solid theory of the inverse proportionality of intelligence and population is fortified daily with stories just like this.
You have dumb, and then you have completely fucking ignorant. This classifies as the latter.
Hat tip: Big Brain Campbell
Why I don't watch much televison
Or watch any major or cable news broadcasts.
Frightening.
Hat tip: Nils
I'll huff and I'll puff
Known peter-puffer and now confirmed traitor Bradley Manning has pled guilty to 10 lesser charges of stealing and leaking classified information from the government. Which is great.
But another article states that he initially approached at least two major news outlets, including the New York Times, with his stolen documents. Why in the fuck no one at either of these organizations didn't pick up the phone and alert the authorities is anyone's best guess, but it makes me wonder who the real enemies if the United States are?
Thanks assholes.
Hole-y
There are a million and one ways to die and low on my list of ways to go would be being swallowed up by a sinkhole in the middle of the night.
Just awful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
