La Pura Vida. . .

Costa Rica is a beautiful paradise, still relatively pristine with large open swathes of the country remaining untouched by "man-caused disasters." A small country, roughly equaling West Virginia in size with an estimated population of 4.2 million people and vast areas of jungles, cloud forests, active volcanoes, sub-tropical deserts and craggy mountain ranges that divide the country's regions. Costa Rica, "The Rich Coast" is certainly that, ebullient in an amazing array of flora and fauna comprising 5% of Earth's biodiversity.

Costa Rica is also steeped in a unique local culture, pride and an amicable simplicity and openness of it's gentle people. Pura Vida or "pure life" is the country's proud motto and life moves at a visibly slower pace, things always guaranteed to get done tomorrow. Or tomorrow. Or tomorrow.

Costa Rica has never had an organized standing military of any worth and has only fought two large-scale battles since it's declaration of statehood in 1821. The first conflict in 1856 was against an ego-centric and greed-driven American filibuster named William Walker.

Costa Rica, in defense from Walker's vicious mercenaries, formed a militia, mostly armed with machetes and a few old rifles. They repelled the initial invasion forces back into Nicaragua and withstood a poorly organized counter-attack. Backed by American mercenaries provided by Cornelius Vanderbilt, the Tico militia confronted Walker's army at the Second Battle of Rivas in Nicaragua. It was during this battle that the legend of Juan Santamaria was born.

The Costa Ricans, pinned down by withering gun fire from a fortified home occupied by Walker's forces, sent the barefoot Santamaria to set fire to the home with a torch. Although mortally wounded during the attack, young Juan succeeded in igniting the building, which sent the defending forces into ultimate retreat.

Walker's fate, initially, was a lazy trip home to the United States courtesy of the U.S. Navy. Later though, he returned to Central America, to rouse more rabble I suppose, and was summarily executed by the Honduran military in 1860.

The second episode of war in Costa Rica was when the corrupt government of then-president, Teodoro Picado, a puppet president under the control of ex-president Rafael Angel Calderon, annulled a national election in which Calderon's opponent, Otilio Ulate, had won by slim margin. In a selfish effort to consolidate his power, Calderon unknowingly set into rapid motion his own undoing.

Not to sit idly by and watch his country's future be put into peril by the greed and shortsightedness of political corruptocrats, Jose Figueres Ferrer locally referred to as "Don Pepe", an agriculturalist, socialist and businessman, led a militia of 700 men against the forces of Calderon and Picado as well as Communist forces under the command of Manuel Mora Valverde. Over the course of 40-plus days, 2000 people were killed, unfortunately mostly civilian casualties, but Ferrer was successful in his efforts to overthrow Picado and Calderon.

Ferrer assumed control of Costa Rica for the next 18 months and in the process laid the framework for positive social and political policies that shaped the Costa Rica we know today. Ferrer outlawed the Communist party and associated labor unions, granted the right to vote for women and blacks, abolished the "army" and most importantly, formed a committee to oversee free and fair elections. Don Pepe, certainly a man transcendent of time and place like Santamaria, is widely recognized as a hero.

After this historical lesson, it's peeves me to no end, when I hear of stupid Americans, such as a raft of goombas, associated with NFL quarterback Tom Brady, firing off guns in the quiet solitude and relatively gun-free Costa Rica. All because a couple of photographers wanted to snap a few shots of Brazilian superskank Gisele whatsherface.

We've all heard stories of the "typical American tourist" and while the stereotype is obviously much maligned, the truth is, they exist. I remember a certain arrogant fatso complete with hooker in tow I saw in a restaurant at the base of Volcan Arenal a few years ago, stewing in his own unhappiness that no one spoke any English. "Jesus, you'd think they'd learn learn a little English, all I want is a beer!"

Hey jackass, try a little Spanish, why don't ya?

I guess after living there for so long and touching so many lives and being touched by theirs, I get a little upset when I see stuff like this happen there. Anywhere in the world for that matter, but especially in Costa Rica. I can't speak for all American tourists, but Tom Brady, and his brainless bimbo girlfriend by virtue of their "security" team, prove true the stereotype and the malignant narcissism associated with it.

"An atypical American tourist in Costa Rica."