A Few Words From Black Kitty. . .

I demand, with all respect, approbation and intemperance, that Wildcat, hereafter known as Exhibit X, obey, transfix, adhere to, concur and comply with all laws, jurisprudence, acts, decrees, charters, forms, commandments, covenants, stipulations and ordinances afforded me under the declaration of the 2009 sui generis Sovereignty Accord of Black Kitty.

Let it be known to all cat, kitten, kitty, pussy, pussy cat, feline, mouser, and tom, that Exhibit X refuses to afford me the rights granted to me under the above referenced declaration. Exhibit X has continually avoided compliance with the tenets of this accord as follows:

• failure to comply with Ordinance 27A(1)C-922 which states that clandestine reconnaissance missions dedicated to the pursuit, harassment, isolation and surveillance of Black Kitty must cease immediately;
• continuous frontal, flank or rear assaults launched from camouflaged positions underneath the couch before the hours of 7 a.m. is prohibited as defined in Ordinance 322(b)123-99.1(a);
• repeated episodes of catnip ingestion by Exhibit X after the prohibited time defined as "after the big orange thing in the sky goes away" in Ordinance 42(122)(a)(II)(i)27;
• violating Ordinance 40-99.23(r), which states that since the kitty condo in the corner was abandoned after the death of Boo Boo and has remained uninhabited, is now the palace of Black Kitty with all appurtenances rightfully afforded under current feline housing law [ see Coco v. Thunderballs, 1947];
• as prescribed in Ordinance 36.3(f)-294299.002, all cat toys, and particularly the one with the feathers that makes loud noises have been forfeited to the rightful possession of Exhibit X in a good faith gesture, because in reality, Black Kitty hates toys;
• as defined in subsection B of Ordinance 112-33-20, the lap of Black Kitty's owner is rightfully reserved for leisurely activities between the times of "after my food bowl gets filled" to the time when said lap and owner operate the befuddling doorknob to let Black Kitty out at night;

I, Black Kitty, recognize the right to change, modify, null or void any or all of the above documentation to fit my needs and really only want my peace and quiet. I am a cat born for leisure, relaxation and good times.

Total adherence to the all accords afforded by the 2009 sui generis Sovereignty Accord of Black Kitty by Exhibit X will reduce the likelihood that I, Black Kitty, will go Kung Fu on your ass.

Thanks.