Square Pegs, Round Holes. . .

A metaphor or two. . .

My work is like the song that says, "...wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round..." except the bus I am on has square wheels made of granite fingernails and the road is made of blackboard. My body is constructed of delicately laminated crystal cementations which are slowly being de-aggregated on the atomic level from each fall of the wheel's edge as some smelly lard-ass standing in the aisle of this crowded third world bus rests their lard-haunch on my shoulder as I sing Tom Sawyer at the top of my lungs in an effort to squelch the overwhelming input of noise, vibration and personal violation. "No his mind is not for rent, to any God or government..."

My work is like sharing a ten-course tasting menu dinner with Matthew Modine and tempering uneasy feelings of indecisiveness because I don't know whether he's a brilliant actor or a hack, but then I remember Vision Quest and either way, brilliant or not, I still want to punch him in the face. The squid ravioli is divine though. . .

My work is like waking up after a long night out and finding myself in a bed in a strange place. I look about and see various womans undergarments strewn around the room; a pair of six inch heels next to a black, spangled purse and a tiny magenta and iridescent blue bodice mini-dress hanging on the bedroom doorknob. I roll over to find a warm body next to me. I turn on the bedside lamp only to be confronted by a lumpy and hairy man-back, riddled with pockmarks, moles and fresh lesions indicative of a lustful night. Lunging from the bed in panic, I catch a glimpse of myself hurtling by a wall-length mirror and shriek in agony as I realize that I am a Thai transsexual hooker who turns tricks on the corner in Sunset and Vine in Los Angeles. All I need is $2500 more for the surgery. . .

This is me........going to work......

Thanks to all of you for stopping by during my extended absence. I'll be posting over the weekend hopefully and with the results of the BBQ contest this past Saturday also, photos included.

See you soon!!

Oh yeah, Greasy? Hope you guys are ok after the rattles this week. Let me know how you are!