"Americans used to say where there's a will, there's a way. Nowadays, it's where there's a pill, there's a way out." - - Burnt Toast

Add It To The List. . .

There are things in life that a man should never have to know about.

In the mornings, I am a very predictable person. I have my routine and I stick with it. I shower the same way, I brush my teeth afterwards, etc. And because of my slight obsessiveness, I am one of those types who wakes up with a song in my head which usually tortures me until I make it to a radio later for relief.

These strange brain behaviors are sometimes difficult to deal with, especially with a bad Heineken head like this morning. But today it wasn't a repetitive tune, it was something I heard on Fox News.

Apparently, a man somehow managed to aspirate (breathe) a pea into his lungs. Stranger things have happened, right? We've all heard stories of children sticking beans up their noses or the guy who decided to stick his erection through the hole of a free weight only to have it become stuck, so that man and his new 25 pound "girlfriend" had to go to the emergency room to treat his "priapism."

But a pea in the lung? Doesn't sound so bad until we find out that the pea had become rooted in the lung tissue and sprouted into a plant! Ugh!

That was my imagery this morning and I still cannot get it out of my head. Gag!

I'll never look at my pea garden the same way again. Thanks Fox News! You report, we vomit!

- Sent from my iPhone

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