Out With The Old. . .

As the New Year approaches I suspect that many of us are reflecting on the past 12 months and doing our best to categorize and understand the happenings; some good, some bad, some rather indifferent.

This year was relatively terrible for me as I suffered through the worst personal crisis of my life nearly at the cost of my genuine good health and even healthier sanity.  But as someone said a long time ago: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  I believe that and am a living example of it.

This year started off with the terrible news of the double-murder of some acquaintances I had in Texas.  Their lives were needlessly ended in a fit of jealousy and rage and in an extremely violent manner on the day after Christmas. And the year ended with the death of a long-time employee who I have known since I was a small boy.  He passed away on Christmas day.

All of this sandwiched a tragic breakup of a relationship that I had nurtured for two years which ended with me on the edge of a bed, alone, holding thousands of dollars of precious metals and jewels in my hand as I tried to come to grips with and understand what had just happened.  I still have no answer for that and it continues to haunt me, yet less so as time passes.

Looking back on all of the tragedy, stress, and sorrow, I suppose I could still be kicking myself around with the old "why me?" scenario, but I realize that to accept life and living, one is also required to accept death and dying whether in the real form of people that you know leaving this good Earth or in the intangible sense of the death of an important connection with someone.  Life has never been fair.  There are no referees or rules really.  No instant replay except for the one installed in the brain which questions each and every move, manoeuvre, and consequence of life.

Since the dawn of man, he has sought answers to the puzzling questions of life.  Many of those questions have been answered, but many remain mysteriously undiscovered and are likely to remain so until Earth tires of our antics and swallows us back up into oblivion.  However, to seek the great answers of life is a just pursuit and if it were not for our innate ability to seek the truth around us, we (man) would still be huddling in cold, dark caves wrapped in animal hides and clubbing each other on the head in a moment's fancy

Humankind has a unique emotional trait in the compassion we offer to other humans, even animals, in some cases insects, and even to inanimate objects.  This unique identifier is part of what makes the human animal special.  When one finds themselves in a state of need, for instance after a death, it doesn't take long for friends, family and community to rally into action. Through this outpouring of support, love and companionship, the first seeds of recovery are planted within the soul, left to slowly germinate, only to later spring forth with a new focus on life and living.  Without this necessary regeneration, life would be a miserable to place to be and would most certainly be far shorter for many of us.

I have much to be grateful for as I experienced this blooming regenerative lifeforce in the last third of 2010. And I can thank all of you and the many kinds words of support I received from friend and stranger alike.  Without you, I feel this year would have been a total loss, a sad loss, but through you I am living and thriving and happy.

With all of that said, I wish the best for all of us come 2011.

Sincerely Yours,
Radioactive Man