"Americans used to say where there's a will, there's a way. Nowadays, it's where there's a pill, there's a way out." - - Burnt Toast


Sometimes this blog is about food.

And here's another really really bad food idea.

This jar of instantaneous coronary distress sells for about 5 dollars.  They should give it away for free.  Actually, they should re-market it as an all-unnatural wheel bearing and rock drilling lubricant and sell it at Oh-Oh-Oh-O'Reilly's and your local water well drillers supply house.

Why my disdain?  Well, let's take a look at the ingredient list.

The first and primary ingredient is water.  The first and primary ingredient in Bearnaise is butter, which is exactly why it is so delicious.  The last ingredient in real Bearnaise sauce is water and if your Hollandaise base is proportioned correctly you will need a tablespoon or less of water, if at all..  The second ingredient in the jar of funky yellow spackle is margarine which is not found in Bearnaise sauce at all.  Actually, if margarine called Bearnaise collect long distance from a Turkish prison, Bearnaise sauce would say, "Geçmiş olsun" and hang up politely.

Also, Bearnaise sauce would never have tumeric or modified food starch.  Does anyone even know what modified food starch is?  Modified food starch is used in such wonderful culinary products like wallpaper adhesive, tablet disintegrents, and paper manufacturing.  Mmmm mmmm good!

Do me a favor?  Learn how to make Hollandaise.  It's really not that difficult once you get the hang of it and then from that base sauce you can make an infinite variety of delicious and wonderful creations that don't taste like hydrolyzed soybean diglycerides and panothenic acid..  Nothing says yummy like that combination.

Garçon, garçon??  I'll have the filet, medium rare.

Sir, would you like to add partially hydrolyzed soy diglycerides and panothenic acid?

Oh, but it seems so heavy!

Au contraire monsiuer, it is an excellent accompa, accomp, it goes well together.

Ok, that and a nice chianti. 

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