"Americans used to say where there's a will, there's a way. Nowadays, it's where there's a pill, there's a way out." - - Burnt Toast

Right in the middle

Life is never what you think it is.  Always full of surprises and you wake up one day and realize, fuck, I'm old.  But with age comes wisdom.  And psoriasis.  And a colonoscopy.  And fewer boners.  And larger bills.  And maybe less hair on your head and more in your ears.

But you know what?  Your dick may not work like it used to.  And you might find yourself rubbing the old monkey while you sniff the dirty panties that you stole from your wife's best friend, but fuck it man, when it all comes down to what you can have and have not as you age, I'd take wisdom over everything.  And your old lady's friend is probably a skank anyway.

George Carlin once said "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."  Don't be stupid, be smart.  Be smart.  And buy your dirty panties online.  If your old lady finds you wearing her friend's purple ruched-back hip-huggers over your face as you rub it out to some Thai Ladyboy porn she is going to kick you right in the old. . .

Which really won't matter cause those fuckers don't work no more anyways.  Good luck with the rest of your life.  Your testosterone might be gone, but you've still got your fucking brains.

And your tranny porn.

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