DirecTV. . .

Offering up a gazillion channels of crap daily.

It's 9:30 a.m. CST and channel 235, Style, is showing Michael Bolton: Tribute On Ice

Now, I like Michael Bolton, not because of his singing, I respect him because I think he's a genuine person, smart, affable and not to mention that he's married to Nicollete Sheriden.

But man, to torture the world with his music AND ice skating at the same time is just criminal.

I am watching, through squinted eyes, some dude in a fuchsia colored skintight outfit, codpiece included, skate around, landing one triple Salchow (sow cow?) after another with ol' Mike banging out the oldies in the background and it's just, just, just sickening.

What audience are they trying to capture here?

I think I'm going to step outside and fire a gun just for the hell of it.