HEALTH ALERT!

If you ate finger foods at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Bash / Party / Fiesta / Soiree / WingDing / Function / Hullabaloo / Splurge / Blowout / Spree / Coffee Klatch / Brannigan / Shindig / Get-Together, please proceed immediately to the nearest doctoral facilities because you could potentially be the victim of "Dirty Butthole Finger Syndrome."

It turns out that one of Wolfgang Puck's employees had a pretty bad case of DBFS because a) he or she has Hepatitis A and B) couldn't seem to find the handwashing apparatus after crapping on said finger. Finger touches food, you eat finger food, finger food forks you to death.

So, for all you forking finger food feeders out there and all you flipping finger food fabricators, feel free to flail five fingers following falling faucets fools.