A Sad Day. . .

Martha Stewart, whose name makes my skin itch when I hear it called out, lost her beloved Chow dog in a freak propane explosion at a kennel in Pennsylvania. No one wants to lose a pet, especially under bizarre circumstances, but really, who in the hell names their dog Genghis Kahn? And I wonder if she pronounced it like Queen Ketchup John Kerry does?

Ok, I'll lay off on Martha for her dead pet.

Although I will not lay off on what a smug, pretentious and unrivaled, smarmy crone she is. Successful business woman, yes. Nice person? Not a chance.

And on top of all that, I know a secret that few have privilege of knowing. Have you noticed that Martha Stewart hasn't changed her hairstyle in about, oh, on the safe side, 15 years? Know why? Know why?

Because behind the layers of that frou frou chop reside earlobes the size of brontosaurus pork chops!

Yes, you heard it here first. And I bet she's got years worth of chewed gum stuck back there too.