"Americans used to say where there's a will, there's a way. Nowadays, it's where there's a pill, there's a way out." - - Burnt Toast
Showing posts with label new orleans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new orleans. Show all posts

I Saints Believe It. . .

Mississippi is an unusual place.  Yeah yeah, I know, we all have lopsided heads, marry our cousins, don't wear shoes.  But, I'll have you know, all my cousins live out of state and I actually have two pairs of shoes, my good ones and my gooder ones.

And this week I'm wearin' my dancin' shoes because OUR New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl!  Our unfortunate situation in Mississippi is that we have no hometown professional teams to root for, so we outsource to other places like Atlanta, Dallas, Green Bay, Houston, St. Louis, etc.  Our team allegiances shift as do our homegrown players, like Brett Farve or the Manning family, dad included, or Jerry Rice or Walter Payton.  I mean, who ever thought anyone from Mississippi would be rooting for the New York Giants?  But there is one team that has always been ours, the New Orleans Saints.

There was a time the Saints were so bad, you could have dressed out 11 nanny goats on one side of the ball and the Saints would have lost by 20 points.  Yet, through all the hard years we have hung in as fans, although sometimes with anonymity under paper bags, but this year we were finally rewarded

Congratulations to the Saints, the City of New Orleans, the State of Louisiana and to all of America for this glorious victory!

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Who's Got The Balls?

I bet if Jesus were there, none of this madness would have happened.

Because, you don't fuck with the Jesus.

H/T to Big Brain of the champion Ubon's BBQ Cooking Team who will be serving up another large portion of good times over in Newton this weekend at the Loose Caboose BBQ Contest. You're invited, you know!

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Deep Breath. . .Deep Breath. . .

In and out. In and out. Breathe deeply.

Oomm. Oooooooomm.

Forgive me folks, I can feel my internal volcano of vulgarity becoming active. Fair warning.

The dilemma surrounding the myth of global warming, now re-described as "climate change", is that no one, not you, not me, not tens of thousands of scientists can agree on whether this "phenomenon" is A) for real and B) caused by man.

What has been proven by fact is that man is contributing to the total carbon output on Earth. But our carbon output, even as large as it seems, is still only a piss dribble part of the whole. Mother Nature creates far more than we and it has been us (life) against her for thousands or millions of years.

And She. Always. Wins.

George Carlin once described this facet of environmentalism as human beings', "self-righteous arrogance of importance." We must realize, however difficult it may be to accept, that we are slightly less important than a tick turd on the butthole of a rabid dog. When the Earth is ready, she will swallow us up and probably burp up a few trillion tons of carbon in the process.

In any given moment on Earth, there are cows farting, oceans evaporating, volcanoes spewing, sulfur pits bubbling, drunks belching, swamp mud decaying, landfills fermenting, forest fires burning and so on and so on. We're simply not that fucking important in the grand scheme of things in terms of our carbon output.

Earth and Mother Nature will aways be our unmerciful handler. And Mother Nature is many things, including a creative and sadistic, cold-blooded bitch who doesn't not care for life or the living. She can make life as easily as she can destroy it. She cares not if you are a Mexican, a Black, a mole, a three-toed sloth, a one-legged unicyclist or an amoeba. She simply doesn't care. And by not caring, it is impossible for her to be a racist. She dislikes on equal basis.

According to the following article, blacks are subjected to the effects of global warming disproportionately more than "non-hispanic" whites, who are also known as the evil crackers who run shit™. Furthermore, a report from the Environmental Justice and Climate Change Initiative says that blacks are "far less responsible" yet "far more vulnerable" to the effects of global warming. Oh really?

The report states that "health, housing, economic well-being, culture and social stability [of blacks] are harmed by such manifestations of climate change as storms, floods and climate variability." Umm, can you say 'dat be muhfuggin bullsheet?"

Yes, "climate variability" is inevitable, but in the real world, where rational and educated people live, climate variability in commonly fucking known as "the weather." Holy fuck! If you live near the ocean, in a city that is basically a bathtub, what the fuck do you think is going to happen when a hurricane rolls in?? Is it gonna drop off some jellied hog jowls, pork ribs and pot of collard greens and fatback? Hell no! Get out your rubber fucking duck asshole, because it's over! Get the hell out! It doesn't take professional genius to realize that holes will fill up with water! And waiting around for your "leadership" to tell you to get out is simply idiotic!

And the cultural and social impact? I must have missed the memo about global warming handing out guns and drugs to blacks and forcing them to create chaos and havoc in their own neighborhoods. Bad, bad global warming! Shame on you.

So the solution according to the report? Aw hell, it's as easy as one, two three.

First, let's not allow the innovators, the investors, to reap the benefit of the risk of technological evolution. Second, let's tax the evil cracker businesses who pollute. And thirdly, let's give our new found windfall to the "consumer" better known as anyone who is not a cracker.

Reparations anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

I suggest that you read the entire report, if you can do it without going insane. Should I continue at the current level of anger, I am sure to spontaneously combust creating evil carbon emissions that will immediately seek out the nearest ghetto and begin affecting the culture and social stability of blacks.

The only racists here are the ones who perpetuate the myth of victimization to retain their own power and status and who continually ignore the REAL problems facing minorities in America.

And for all you disadvantaged people out there? Get an education. The more you know, the more doors you'll know and the more likely those known doors will open for you.

Read more here, here and here.

Oh and the sweet irony. I first found the above referenced article written by Mr. Jeff Poor on the Business and Media Initiative's website who's motto is "Advancing the Culture of Free Enterprise in America."

You just can't make that stuff up.

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The Chocolate Hurricane. . .

Ok, let's review.

A long time ago, the guvmint built some "projects" down in 'Nawlins. People moved in and slowly, over time, turned the place into a war zone. Rampant crime, drug activity, prostitution and general mayhem existed in these places. Many of the housing projects were/are uninhabitable and have been vacant for years, used only by crack heads and vagrants. And rats probably.

SO NOW, the guvmint wants to demolish these buildings and then attempt to revitalize and CHANGE the local community. However, something is standing in it's way: COMPLETE FUCKING IGNORANCE!

Sure, it's a real shame that a lot of people still haven't been able to move back to 'Nawlins after two plus years, but do these "protesters" really want to move back into these dumps? These stinking, oozing, funkholes are a virus on the community that they (YOU!) didn't take care of in the first place? The guvmint provided (i.e. taxpayer funded by hard working "contributors") housing that was slowly and meticulously reduced to garbage holes over a matter of years. Do we (you) really want to save these ramshackle shitboxes?

C'mon folks! Get real. I'm terribly sorry that you can't return to your slimy little hovels to fester like open human sores, contributing nothing good to society while "whitey" holds you down, but face the reality: CHANGE WILL NOT HARM YOU!

Why not support the revitalization? Why not sign up for the job of demolishing these old crusty buildings. Get involved POSITIVELY instead of causing an unnecessary fracas outside of City Hall. Take this energy you feel and apply it to something good.

You know, on second thought, forget it. You people are idiots and don't deserve to live there. Go find somewhere else to fester in your own worthlessness.

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