Listening. . .

I like to observe things.  And I have been told that I have a knack for seeing things in life that no one else would ever notice.  I guess it's just part of my peculiar personality that I take for granted.  I also like to listen and today I heard the following and even though I missed the context of the conversation, it just struck me in an unforgettable way.

Man #1:  I'm tellin' ya buddy, he ain't got nairn.  I done called him yisterdiy 'n asked!

Man #2:  Naw, he's got 'em.  I see'd 'em last week.  They all up in there in the back right up longside them bigger yella'uns.

Man #1:  Boy, he ain't got nairn.  I done asked.

Man #2:  He does.

Man #1:  I'm gonna call 'im.

Man #2:  Call 'im then.

Man #1:  A'ight then, I am.

Man #2:  He's got 'em, I'm tellin' ya!

Man #1: He done told me he don't got none.

Man #2:  I done see'd em, ain't you hearin' me?

Man #1:  Yeah, I hear'd.

Man #2: Call 'im.

Man #1: Can I burry your cell phone?  I ain't paid my bill and they done cut me off and all.

Man #2:  I reckon.

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To Good To Not Be True. . .

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

These mostly Southern boys will be dropped off into Iraq and will be given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Applications are available at your local Wal-Mart sporting goods counter.


Thanks be to T-Bone for the submission.

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