Another One Bites The Salad. . .

Couldn't have happened to a less likable individual.

Chef Ben. D. Over, of the world-renowned Advanced Institute of Technology and Applied Sciences for Salad Tossing, is proud to announce the imminent arrival of it's newest student, Mr. Plaxico Burress.

"We are pleased to be getting such a fine candidate for our innovative classes on salad analysis. Mr. Burress will be delighted to find that these classes are not simply rudimentary studies of salad tossing, or simple theorems of salad choice, timing, and selection, but also a deeper understanding and grasp for the psychological and sociological implications of salad tossing within the human culture," said Chef Over.

"It is my understanding that many of our "students" in the program are eagerly awaiting his first day of class. As a matter of fact, we had a refresher course for our current "students" on the personal hygiene required to toss a salad, as well as highlighting the finer point of Chapter 6 in the course materials titled, 'What A Neatly Trimmed Salad Means To The Mouth.'"

Good riddance to Plaxico Burress.

I simply don't understand these wealthy athletes that have everything going for them in life. Wealth, adulation, fame, other things that to the common may seem unattainable and sacred, but I guess in retrospect, people like Burress or Vick or the guy that walked after a vehicular homicide/DUI rap, these people lack the one thing that would make an almost perfect human being: brains.

Yo dumbass, if you had a holster for that piece instead of cramming it into your waistband you probably wouldn't be heading to Salad Toss U.

See you in a couple of years buddy.

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Down With The Little Dick. . .

My friend Linda has alerted me that Zachary "Little Dick" Scruggs has been sentenced to jail time also, for his role in the judicial bribery scheme here in Mississippi. Now he and his dad can wile the hours away in prison by studying the fine and ever so sacred art of salad tossing.

Have fun boys! The arm of the law is long, but the ass of the inmate is hairy.

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Gimmie Five Dickie!!

Feel the pain Dick. Feel the pain.

The law has no mercy, especially for one of it's own gone bad.

Oh my, how the mighty have fallen. Now, if they'll just lock up that squirrely kid of his too.

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Finally. . .

the courts get smart.

From the Clarion Ledger:

Ramon Lagos Andrade came to this country from Honduras for the American dream.

Now, that dream has gone bad: Andrade, 34, is going to federal prison because he came here on the wrong side of the law.

"We ask the court for leniency," Andrade's attorney, Joe Holloman, told U.S. District Judge Henry Wingate on Monday. "He made a terrible mistake. He was in this country illegally."

Wingate showed no leniency. He more than doubled the 13-month sentence U.S. Attorney Erin Chalk recommended Andrade receive for being here illegally while also in possession of a firearm.

Terrible mistake. Boo hoo.

Chalk one up for justice.

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Unit 32. . .

Mississippi State Penitentiary's Unit 32 has made headlines once again.

After a guard found an inmate in possesion of a ".380 semiautomatic pistol and two clips of ammunition," the ever so diligent leadership of the prison locked the unit down and swept the entire facility. What did they find?

Well, in a unit that houses 200 inmates, they found 100 knives, a few ounces of marijuana and some contraband tobacco.

Oh and the guard, Marcus Fairley, who found the gun initially. . .well, they fired his sorry ass immediately. What else could they do? He was obviously in on the plan and according to his supervisor is also a member of the Gangster Disciples, "a street gang with a powerful presence inside Mississippi's prisons."

The truth is, Marcus Fairley is a former Marine sergeant who served his country faithfully in Iraq. Somehow after being shot at in Iraq, I doubt seriously that this guy is gonna come home, join up with the Gangster Disciples to help out prisoners.

In his own words Fairley states that he "has been threatened by inmates and had urine, feces and scalding water thrown on him."

"With all these offenders assaulting me, why in the hell would I bring them something?" He also added that the accusation he was in on the whole plot is "insane."

Indeed it is Marcus.

Previous Blog Entry for Unit 32

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Where Did The Gun Come From?

An inmate at our state institution for higher degradation, aka Parchman Penitentiary, was found with a gun in his cell.

Surprised? I'm sure you're not until you find out that said inmate was being housed in Unit 32, a "super-maximum" security facility for the most hardened of the insano inmates. For example, people like Lemarcus Lee Hillard who stabbed another inmate to death with a spear fashioned from a mop and a part from his toilet while being housed in this "super-maximum" unit.

Yet, even in this 23 hour a day confinement facility, guards can't seem to keep these guys from doing bad things, like hiding guns in their cells. So, it makes you wonder from WHERE or WHOM the inmate got the gun, doesn't it?

The only thing that surprises me is that he didn't use it.

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Note To Self. . .

Things Not To Do:

Do NOT beat up the elderly.


From The Clarion-Ledger:

Joe Lee Brunner has been sentenced to a total 180 years in prison for beating and robbing an 82-year-old Jackson woman.

Brunner was found guilty Wednesday in a retrial of house burglary, aggravated assault, armed robbery andauto theft. A jury in Brunner's first trial in May deadlocked at 11-1.

Brunner, 23, of Jackson, has maintained that he did not commit the May 2006 attack on Lorea May.

Previous story.

There has been a spate of these home invasion, beating of the human, armed robbery type incidents lately. I fear I must remind our law-unabiding citizenry in Jackson that the Castle Doctrine is just like Colt .45, the beverage AND the gun, because "it works every time."

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