Eureka!

I have finally figured it out!

I am a problem solver and a deep thinker (generally) and when it comes to conflict resolution, I am a master.  However, there are times that even I cannot resolve an issue, an issue so complex and undefinable that even Freud would probably scratch his head and say, "I think I need a dandruff shampoo."

So, since I have lost the battle, one that has been raging for months with ocassional breaks in the defensive lines and quiet lulls in the fighting when words of kindness have been exchanged. I now realize that the war has long been over and I've been the loser all along; standing in no-man's land with fingers in ears, awaiting the next barrage that is never to come.

In retrospect, and in particular reference to humans of the female variety, I think now I elect to treat all of you like shit just as most other humans of the male variety do.  It seems to work for them and hell, if that's what women want, then why not give it to them.  The nice guy routine just ain't working out.

So listen up you bitches!  There is a new sheriff in town and his name is Buck Nasty.  Everyone line up and stand at attention!

You, bottle blonde!  I bet you're a dumbass, go get me a beer while I watch football and pass gas on the couch with my beer-swilling, pot-head buddies.  And you, the tall brunette!  You seem smart, but your ass is fat.  Want another cookie, fatso?  And you, the redhead, well, we all know you are just bat shit crazy to the bone.  You can't be helped, go play in traffic.

Now now, before anyone gets their panties all bunched up I have the following disclaimer:

This post is SATIRE based on an emotional response to a recent event.  I DO NOT hate women, nor have ever treated one poorly outside of general human male ignorance, which all men are subject to from time to time.  Actually, I adore the company of women more than men and not just for the obvious reasons.  However, I am entitled to my opinions and life has a way of twisting a man up until he cries "uncle" and once unwound his opinions are subject to change.

With all of that said, where is my fucking beer, Blondie??

Ok?

Is that what you said?  "Ok?" 

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Uncanny. . .

 

Are you with me people?

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Mmm. . .Mmm. . .Good!

Someone, somewhere, sometime once said, "To each his own."

And before you click through the link below, take a deep breath, a sip of cold water, put away whatever delectable goody you might be nibbling on at the moment and remember the above words.

In less civilized times man was simply a survivor and as he gained intelligence, language, skill and dispersed across our fair planet as a result of travel, war, displacement, disease, conquering or being conquered, his diet and well-being improved over the eons of time since the first predecessors of man appeared.

The challenge of life breeds necessity and from that many wonderful creations, ideas, inventions and serendipitous discoveries have been curated, incubated, and this culmination of general knowledge has been passed down through thousands of years via culture and custom.

In our modern era of pre-packaged foods, Happy Meals, convenience stores and general slothiness we have lost much of that culture and custom when it comes to our foods. But fear not, there are still plenty of people eating horrifying things all over planet earth.

And through the modern miracle that is the internet, I bring you the 10 worst foods ever.

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Hump Me Day. . .

I posted a couple of days ago about the odd search terms that lead the great humanity of the world to my blog. As I noted, one common search term is "asstraffic" and I eluded that the large majority of those requests emanated from countries of the Middle East or Asia, particularly referring to Saudi Arabia, Syria, India, Pakistan, and Indonesia.

Well, here they come again. I write a cute story about chasing field mice in the median of Interstate I-55 and by default, cull the repressed desires of perverts where Islam dominates.

Guess I better not write such things like Thai Tranny Hookers and goat love.

Oooops!!

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All In The Family. . .

T-Bone tells me he saw one of my kin today down in Richland.


As all good persons of stature should, I plead the Fifth Amendment.

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Hell Has No Fury. . .

. . .like a woman scorned.

But also, karma is a bitch.

H/T: Hot Air

P.S./Historical tidbit: Here's where that 'fury' quote originated. Bastardized throughout the years I guess.

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From The New Blog. . .

. . .Heightened Scrutiny, a real head-scratcher of a story.

I hear Fallujah is lovely this time of year.

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I Like. . .

Everytime I see this image, I hear this song and imagine emptying a can of StarKist into a blender with coconut milk and rum. Blech!

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Matt Drudge. . .

. . .always the trooper searching far and wide for the interesting, unusual, the exclusive and the bizarre brings us this delightful story about a woman, so incredibly addicted to plastic surgery, that she injected cooking oil into her face.

***WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES OF CRAZY PEOPLE BELOW***

So, here's a quick poll.

Who is crazier?

Cooking oil face lady?



Or Catwoman?

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