My friend Billy Jo Jerry Bobby would like to issue a statement about voter fraud:
Howdy!
I been readin' this here internet thang and it's got a bunch uh good stuff and all, like pitures of nekkid wimmen' and every now and then a good piture of a lion down in Louisiana. Damn crazy coonasses, them folks! Geaux Tigers!
Anyways, I was readin' this here article about how them folks that call themselves ACORN, which kinda confuses me cause acorns is what squirrels, deer and turkeys eat, but these people call themselves ACORN and, I don't know, it's just weird to me, so them folks, they done gone up in Indiana and somehow r'nother got more people on to vote than there are people in the county round up about Indianapolis where that Manning boy plays ball.
Now, I ain't the smartest sumbitch that ever hoed a row, but my momma learned me them numbers real good. And as best I figure, even though it's some big numbers and all, in a county which has got 644, 197 eleg, uh, eliga. . .you know, folks who can rightly vote, and then on them papers in the county office say they got 677,401 people on them rolls, there's somethin' spitfire wrong with that!
So, I been readin' about them ACORN people and how they been signin' up people who ain't livin' and ain't got no house trailer to live in like me, and signin' up the Dallas Cowboys and usin' names like Mickey Mouse and all. Hell, a dang mouse can't vote!
I mean, what's wrong your showin' somethin' that's got yer dang name on it when you go to vote! My paw always told me, "Son, if a man needs anything in life, it's a piece of paper with his name on it." And I be doggone if'in he ain't right! I only get one vote, Terrell Owens only gets one vote, so why should them other'ins get an extra vote? Just don't seem right, no matter how I figure it.
Well, I guess I better get back to cleaning my gun and readin' my Bible. It's all I got to cling to and I fear it'll be taken away soon.
Thanks y'all and God Bless.
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