"Americans used to say where there's a will, there's a way. Nowadays, it's where there's a pill, there's a way out." - - Burnt Toast
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts

Parched. . .

I don't know how often I've wanted to drink in the morning, although I remember a few episodes of morning consumption of unrefined cane sugar products as Nils and I terrorized Central American roads for months, and hell, what's so wrong with a toddy first thing in the morning anyway?  There is something quite blissful about the warmth and good humor of a morning buzz, but usually it means being a total wreck by the afternoon and make regrettable phone calls to liasons of the opposite sex. . .ah yes, maybe that morning drinking ain't so great.

Yet. . .sometimes a vision appears. . .an apparition. . .

. . .and understanding it can be a compllicated matter. . .and can drudge up many a long lost memory. . .
 

 . . .when you realize that it's been far too long since you and your friend have done something outstandingly stupid together.  

Like the time my broken-legged cohort Nils and I got stopped by the police 10 miles south of Miami after a spontaneous trip to The Keys when we slept in a hotel parking lot, on the beach, rode mopeds around trying to run over the feral chicken population, drank beer all the way back to Islamorada where we drank more beer with Captain Bill at some roadside joint until we were well lubricated and proceeded to meander our way back to Palm Beach to where your fearless heroes were pulled over by the police with a truck full of. . .

. . .on second thought. . .maybe this is not the best example of good times. . .

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Neverending. . .

The rain is upon us again and man, do I have some work to do on the ark!


Alas, a man's work is never done and that's because we drink beer.  And you know what?  No matter what your old lady might say about it, beer is good for you!  Heck, someone even wrote a song about it.



Amen!

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The Return. . .

Many of you may remember Mr. Baggins from previous porch encounters. Well, he's back and dumber than ever.

I left an open bag of bird seed on the porch Friday night, his favorite that contains peanuts and raisins. Beatrice and I were quietly drinking our adult beverages when I heard "munch, munch, munch" going on to my left. I looked down and lo' and behold, it's Mr. Baggins!

He appears fat, happy and healthy. And the cats? Well, they were probably busy dominating the internet or something as they provided no protection. Which reminds me of a certain deceased black and white Tico cat named Boo Boo who was also impotent against the invasive powers of Mr. Baggins.


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TEXT-tured. . .

I, on August 12, 2009 at 8:32 p.m., received the following text message from the 281 area code:

Qod - how can u go wrong with beer, guns, and a bulldozer?

My answer is: You can't, but it would be a lot better while wearing angora rabbit boxer shorts.

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Howdy-Do-Do. . .

Yep, I've been traveling again. This time to cater a birthday party (sorta) for friends. You'll meet some new faces, as well as a couple who haven't been seen around here in a while.

I'll give you a hint. . .

Maaaaaaarrrrslenjuuuuuurrrrgg!

Maaaaaaarrrrslenjuuuuuurrrrgg!

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The Essentials. . .

You met my mutual friend with Nils, Mr. Ben J. Amin, yesterday. Well, today he offers some wise advice about camping in Alaska:


"Troops, one can never be too safe in the Alaskan wilderness. So that's why I always pack a fly rod, a high caliber revolver and a keg of beer. Because fuck, you just never know when you might need to do some fishin' or fight off a rabid grizzly bear who is after your fish. And of course should you miss with the revolver, you will at least have some beer to drink as you lie bleeding and legless in the tundra, slowly dying. The great thing is, if you do kill the bear, it's testicle soup for everyone!"


Words from a brilliant and well-prepared mind.

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Lighten Up. . .


crush the light
gulfport, mississippi - July 2008

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What Is It. . .

about women from Texas that makes them so special?

Is it their patience?

Is it their pride, determination and tenacity?


Or their keen ability to identify the long-range objectives and zero in on the solutions?



Is it their ability to multi-task, all the while maintaining bright smiles and positive attitudes?


Or the deep cunning that smolders inside?



Or is it simply the fact that they like to drink beer, fish, shoot shit and act foolish just like men?

I'll let y'all be the judge. What do you think?

Oh, and if you ever have difficulty deciding whether a woman is from Texas or not? Just look closely enough and I'm sure you'll find the answer.

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Ferrell Fest At Flickr. . .

Well, after much farting around with Flickr's stupid, easily crashable upload software, I have finally uploaded all of the photos from the party. 700+ to be approximate. You will find the link below. Again, thanks to all that came out and we hope to see you in the near future!

Ferrell Fest 2008

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On The First Day. . .

God created the vagina. And all was well in the world.


On the second day, God created the beer and the Jagermeister. And all was well in the world.


On the third day, God created the man. And it's been all downhill ever since.

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The Truth Shall Set You Free!

Sent in by a friend:

"To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine... And those who don't.

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of escherichia coli, (E. Coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer(or tequila, rum, whiskey or
Other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.?? Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information."

Thank you anyway Tiffany. Oh, and where the hell have you been?

I have no idea if Ben Franklin actually said that quotation above, but I wouldn't put it past him. He did, after all, author a book about farts.

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Yes Boo Boo, It's True. . .

there is no more beer.



Boo Beer Box
Egypt Hill, Mississippi -- November 2007

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Herbs!

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