One For The Ages. . .

I think this one qualifies as a platinum-plated, all-out, diamond-encrusted, over-the-top, OMFG dOOd WTF Moment of the Century Award!

We'll call it the OMFG dOOd WTFMCA!

Because really, OMFG dOOd WTF!

I'm so MFICETSBTWHGIAIMMWTTADITFGOLTEIWAWPGBFIRDAINCBFAVLT!!!!*

*Motherfucker, I can't even think straight because the world has gone insane and it makes me want to take a dump in the flower garden of life then explode it with a white phosphorus grenade because freedom is really dead and is not coming back for a very long time. What the fuck!

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Es Lunes. . .

Yes folks, the regularity of this happening is only outweighed by the severity of its suckiness. It is Monday. Again.

Dammit man!

Since Congress is sensationally inept at producing anything of worth in this year of our Lord 2009, I suggest that they collectively fart into a two-liter Coke bottle as they declare that Monday no longer exists. It's about as likely as insuring the health of all America with a deficit-neutral spending plan.

I guess what is giving me a good case of the gripes today is the gloomy weekend of gray, cloudy days and monsoonal, humid nights. I needs me some sunshine. And a vacation. And a million dollars. Right now, I'd settle for the sunshine.

I don't really know where I am going with this post, but I'll start here by offering three examples of prominent, wealthy, elite and pampered American cultural icons who fucking piss me off so badly that I have terrible astral projections in which distinct visions of baby Jesus walking a headless cat on the edge of a burning razor blade manifest themselves in my gurgling gray matter.

Yes, I took some great acid a time or two. And with that admission I suppose my political ambitions just went out the window, to which I wish them a fond farewell.

In no particular order:

1) The Williamses

I love tennis. I like to play it and I enjoy watching the power and the grace and the nipples, uh, I mean sportmanship. Yes, that's it.

Saturday night I was watching as Serena Willams and Burgden Urchlichtenten, no no, what is her name? Oh yes, Kim Clijsters. Anyway, she and Serena were battling one another in the semi-finals of the Open. It was fantastic tennis, spirited, powerful, raw and frankly, Clijsters was kicking Serena's ass, all 185 pounds of it from one side of the court to the other. Clearly, Kim was winning the match and the frustration for Serena continued to mount as she smashed a racket and after being warned once, came completely unglued in the second set. After a questionable foot fault call by the linesman, Serena threatened bodily harm on the poor woman and was subsequently disqualified. Game over Space Cadet!

Dear Serena, there are hard times in life when the hard lessons of hard living reach up and smack the color out of you. For you, this is one of those times. You've tasted greatness, you are famous, you are wealthy and live a polished and refined lifestyle, people adore you and you excel in what you do, but Saturday night you reduced yourself to a caricature of you. Petulant, angry, unhappy, bitchy, childish, condescending, shameless, malevolent, mean and forever in my mind's eye, ugly.

In spite of your ignorant father, you and Venus have achieved a greatness that will never be duplicated, but as I looked at your face Saturday, in your hard eyes, and the cold demeanor of your sister as she sat unemotional and vacant as the crowd around her cheered in hopes of your victory, I could only conjure up one word to describe you both and that is, losers.

All the money in the world couldn't buy the hate that lives inside of you and your family. It is quite evident and tremendously dispiriting. We tried to love you, but you could never love yourselves. There comes a time in life when your ego is smaller than the moment in which it finds itself. Saturday night was game, set, match.

2. Kanye West

We all know what happened last night so I'll keep this one short.

From All Falls Down featuring Syleena[?] Johnson:

Then I spent 400 bucks on this
Just to be like nigga you ain't up on this!
And I can't even go to the grocery store
Without some ones thats clean and a shirt with a team
It seems we living the american dream
But the people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings
We shine because they hate us, floss cause they degrade us
We trying to buy back our 40 acres
And for that paper, look how low we a'stoop
Even if you in a Benz, you still a nigga in a coop/coupe

Guess what dipshit, you are "still a nigga in a coop."

3. President Barack Obama

Let's just say dear ol' pampered Barack hasn't been getting his way lately. Angry "Cracker America" has been making life a veritable hell for his DemocRATic partisans in the congress and the emperor's mask is beginning to slip.

President Jughead's speech to the joint session the other evening was a weak attempt at explanation of a complicated and convoluted 1000-page bill that no one understands, no one can explain in clear detail and that includes Buckethead himself. There have been countless arguments about what the facts are, cuz you know, facts is facts and they kinda make shit understandable for we 4th grade-educated, gun-clinging, Bible-thumpers. Weir dum.

So, still no facts and his only course of action was to attack the "lies" that have been perpetuated by fear-mongering, right-wing racists like Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh. Those fuckers! We should bomb them!

Ok, I'll be serious for a moment. Here we have a man, an avowed liberal, a man who spent twenty years in a church where the roof was blown off each weekend with outrageous anti-white, anti-semitic and anti-governement conspircay theories. A man, who associated with domestic, although incompetent, terrorists and was born, bred and raised on the filthy, gutter, body-politic of the Chicago wastelands. A man, who has demonstrated an unwavering allegiance to nothing pro-American, save his own personality and the sickening cult that surrounds it. A man, who comforts himself and his inner-circle with appointed radicals of all stripe and variety and expects us to accept them simply because he does and he knows what's best for us.

Got news for you buddy. Go fuck yourself with a toilet plunger because you're full of shit. We don't have to accept any of this insanity. And you know what? People are seeing right through you, we see you now, clearly, in focus with plenty of depth of field, and what do we see? A very angry and disaffected black man.

And guess what dickhead?

Monkey see, monkey do.

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After Lunch [IN]Digestion. . .

Who's country is this again? I'm getting kinda foggy on that with all this multiculturalism and shit.

Please take an antacid before clicking through to the video. The good part starts around 2:26. Congrats to Houston Police for handling the situation calmly and efficiently. Although I would have preferred that they pressure washed the sidewalk with this punk's face.

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Obsession. . .

Anyone need a bath other than me?

I've reserved comment all day, now into day two, waiting for the flotsam and jetsam of a collective human ejaculation to subside and it appears, at least on the surface, that it has.

America should be proud of her rightful place as the leader of our troubled planet and as much as some liberals and some countries dislike that idea, it's true that we are in front. Our innovation is the headwind that buffets the faces of the rest of the world and today, as we move ahead with another historical precedent, we should be proud of our accomplishment.

That being said, I thought today's proceedings were marred by one or two events that spoiled an otherwise unique, and uniquely American moment.

First, the media.

Sure, it's a spectacle, but the frothing gush of admiration, the constant panting and gabbing about ridiculous details, such as the discussion I heard on NPR of just exactly what color dress Michelle Obama was wearing. Was it yellow? Mustard yellow? Buttercream with brocaded fabric? Oh, but leave it to the media to not miss such critical details of an important event and the fashion debate ended with someone declaring that it was very "Jaqueline Kennedy."

Hardly.

I liked some of the more honest debate I heard, like a man interviewed by NPR who was also a community organizer, his mother and father also community organizers, who described this moment of historical importance through a different light. He grasped well the gravity of this moment and begged that all people should take this event as evidence of what an education, good values, working hard and striving can do for a person in America irregardless of color or creed.

But here came the media again, in rapturous flux and drunk on the cult of personality which is Barack Obama, injecting race where it need not be and of course, throwing last minute jabs at the Bush/Cheney administration at every chance.

I am happy for our country and kudos to Obama for bridging a long gap that has been present in this country for many more than the last eight years of George Bush's presidency, eight years so maligned by the media. I was glad to see the diverse ocean of humanity that arrived for this historical precedent. It was pleasing to see whites, blacks, Latinos, Indians, Asians, all shades of color together for a common, deserving purpose representing what makes the United States so incredibly unparalleled, our diversity and tolerance.

Yet, the moment again tainted, by the vague, incoherent ramblings of Reverend Joseph Lowery; a tired, backward looking windbag from a bygone era. His benediction, while pertinent at face value, yielded nothing but the same, worn-out mantra by virtue of his closing comment, "when white will embrace what is right."

Dear Rev. Lowery,

FUCK YOU!

Sincerely,
Burnt Toast

To stain such an important, modern and revolutionary moment with 1960's fight the power rhetoric is simply offensive to all people and most certainly indicates that Rev. Lowery is a bigot himself.

Let me explain to Rev. Lowery what has transpired in the last 160+ years, it's reeaaaallllly easy to understand.

You are a free man. Your people have been free from slavery for over 150 years. Full civil rights were granted to you more than 40 years ago. Laws were enacted by the skee-jillion to help you find your way through life. Laws enacted that openly discriminate against academic achievement of whites and are simply there to help promote "diversity." Governmental programs were launched to help elevate your people from the bondage of poverty. Welfare, WIC, affirmitive action, welfare to work, educational grants, just to name a few.

The failure of your society to educate itself is the real tragedy. Billions of dollars a year are poured into inner-city school districts, which annually post graduation rates far lower than suburban areas. Fault? White people's apparently.

We'll never win the propaganda battle against the long, bony finger of racism, when there is a destructive, pervasive double-standard perpetuated by people like Lowery, the Hip-Hop industry and other fringe left black leadership, that say, "Yes we can and no you cain't!"

Had a white man stood at that podium yesterday and mentioned red men, yellow men and insinuated that the black man needs to embrace what is right, that white man would never have made it out of town. But, since the comments were made by an old, black, civil rights reverend, it's ok.

Well, I'm not ok with that.

For all the preachy preach and feel-goodyisms yesterday about togetherness, leaving the eight years behind, moving forward together? Well, you can just flush all that shit down the toilet after Lowery's benediction. The line in the sand has been drawn, the pilings of our fragile bridge of togetherness made weak by the ramblings of a narrow-minded bigot.

We've moved on, our president is black.

And as I think about that diverse crowd, it begs me to offer this question. . .

. . .if a sea of diverse humanity can weather, by the millions, a fierce January morning for our new, black president, where were they for all the white presidents we've had?

Now who are the real racists?

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Butter Meet Bread. . .

The NAACP chapter of Alabama, when not chasing ambulances or white cop on black suspect injustice, is always looking out for black people and something to rattle the rusty chains of the past about.

Today, they found it.

Smart, beautiful women dressed in 150 year old dresses are racist. Clearly.

Unfortunately for the backward looking NAACP, the rest of the planet has agreed to move on from slavery and the victimization game that the NAACP and black leaders like Farrakhan, Jackson and Sharpton like to play.

A comment from "Marie of Mobile" at the WSFA website sums up the ridiculousness of the charge by the NAACP:

To clarify a few things, our future President Obama's team chose these worthy young ladies for the parade as part of their "Lincoln theme". They weren't chosen by anyone in our state to represent us. On another point, hoop skirts weren't exclusive to "the South". They were worn by ladies of northern states as well. They were indicative of an era, not an area. As for the colorful adornments on each costume, those were & are embellishments meant to represent Mobile's azaleas.

As a first generation Mobilian as well as first generation non-hyphenated American of Caribbean ethnicity, I've met racism and bigotry on more than one occasion in my sixty odd years. Be they black or white, it seldom if ever came from locals. However, bigotry against Southerners is gleefully condoned and promoted by media, Hollywood and one particular political party.

With one minor change, will reiterate my previous post in the hope of enlightening a few fellow citizens:
Racists exist everywhere...not just in "the South". However, in "the South", greater strides have been made to change hearts & minds than in many other places. It is far more difficult, and therefore far more redeeming, to reform one's heart and behavior than it is to have never been caught in the sin.

"Back in the day", my sister-in-law was chosen from the best & the brightest to be an Azalea Trail Maid. The young ladies were & are chosen on the basis of scholarship, achievment, etc. These young women deserve to honor their new president as much as anyone else. Only a bigot would maintain otherwise.

Furthermore, to quote the Mobile County Commission, "The Trail Maids have been ambassadors for Mobile County for almost 60 years. Competition to become a Trail Maid is extremely selective with only the brightest, most accomplished girls being chosen"..."Mobile is a place that strives to be inclusive and represent the needs of all citizens. The City of Mobile has a majority white population but has a popular African-American mayor"..."22% of the current Trail Maids are minority. How sad it would be if these girls especially were denied the opportunity to witness history as Barack Obama is inaugurated as our 44th president". Twenty two percent...hmmm, let's see the House of Representatives, the Senate or the NAACP match that statistic. Welcome to Mobile & happy Twenty First Century, ya'll!

Amen Marie, well said.

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Can You Feel It?

Editor's note: The following links, with the exception of the last, lead to websites that foment hate and racism and perpetuate hateful, violent ideals. If you are at work or on a company server, please use discretion when clicking through.

Several months ago, I wrote a couple of posts concerning an anti-white, sun-whorpshiping, pro-thug, America hating website called, underpriviledgedjournalism. I haven't been by there in a while, for obvious reasons, but I stopped by this morning just to refresh my memory of what the ultra-violet radiation that is killing of all the whites, is doing to the mind of a black person. It's difficult to understand the scatagorical nature and the seemingly randomness of what they write about, but it's worth a look if you need a spike in your blood pressure.

While you're are it, click on through to Ghetto Bragging Rights for some more anti-white, pro-thug, racist fun. I particularly like the post where they blame the victims of the heinous rape/torture/murder of a young couple up in Tennessee for their own murders. Somehow, through their twisted logic, Channon Christian and Chris Newsome were responsible for their own deaths, because, you know, they were out "looking for drugs" and "black sex." Posts like this, in keeping with the sun worship, are interspersed with lunatic rants, like one about some old, white guy who succumbed to the glory of ultra-violet radiation. And babblings about a great earthquake. Ooooooo-kay! Lovely. Moving along now.

Then, when you really need a breather from all the ridiculousness of sun worship, sickle-cell anemia promotion, and thug life invective, click yourself over to The Thug Report to keep up with the latest crime stories ia "da hood." The only website of the three that has any legitimate content.

Have a great day melanoma sufferers!!!

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The Video. . .

Where are the unicorns Barack?? You promised unicorns!!!

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AaaahhhhhHH!!!!

It's one of those oppressive nooses!!! Ahhhhhh!! Ahhhhhh!!

Oh wait a minute. Nooses only oppress black people.

Forget I brought it up. No double standard here. Move along. Nothing to see.

Side note: How fitting that West Hollywood is known locally as WeHo.

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Yo! Dumbass Honky!

The Philadelphia Enquirer is running an editorial today from Johnathan Valania, who apparently stayed up all weekend huffing gold spray paint while writing this jewel of a piece in which he declares that all white people should not be allowed to vote.

Why?

Well, we're racist and bitter of course. Also, we attend Sarah Palin rallies and we are apparently responsible for deranged comments from life-long Democrats like John Murtha. Oh, and we're wholly responsible for electing the evil George Bush and Dick Cheney, not only once, but TWICE!!! I guess no Blacks, Latinos, Asians or those of mixed heritage, much like the rest of us, voted for Bush.

It's only whitey's fault.

This is just as dumb as saying black people shouldn't vote because they've turned our inner cities into drug-infested war zones of illegitimate and uneducated people.

Oh wait, that's "white folks" fault too. Shame on me for being so ignorant of the facts. Kinda like you Mr. Valania.

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The Legit Question??

And the legit answer??



We're doomed.

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How Do You Spell. . .

FLAMING COMMIE DOUCHEBAG?

B-A-R-N-E-Y-F-R-A-N-K.

Watch and learn. This is our future under the control of the new socialists.

Remember:

"Once you vest all power in the state, history demonstrates that the state, although technically composed of individuals, in fact takes on a life of its own, with the operating bureaucracy driving it to ever greater extremes of control."

Makes you kinda feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it?

A cold wind, she is a blowin'.

You can thank Ace of SpadesHQ for the link datum.

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Maybe This. . .

. . .would have been a better choice in fashion?

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Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. . .

. . .everybody knows that Barack Obama has no balls. It's no secret.

And EVERYBODY knows that you "ain't gots no class, nigga."

Jesus Jesse, just shut the hell up. Your account for "society's trust" is past due, pay up and go away.

If black people can't lecture black people on the ills of their part of society and culture, then who can? Whites? The Chinese? Hardly, my boy.

I don't care much for Mr. Obama because of his rather "Manchurian Candidate" feel and his serious lack of the earned political experience that it will take to survive four years as President in the sump hole that is Washington, D.C. But really Jesse, if the first black presidential contender can't preach to the choir, who can? Do you have an answer for that, buddy?

Didn't think so.

You're just a dour and sour, forgotten and confused soul with a school bus yellow jealous streak a mile wide.

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Do I Laugh At This. . .

or just shake my head?

Black holes banned!!

But white holes are fine.

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Is Anyone Surprised By This?

Blacks can't eat BBQ at Juneteenth celebrations in Texas and clearly it's nothing but pure, simple, old-fashioned, "modern-day slavery."

Well slap my balls and call me Jimmy! Boo fucking hoo!

Whites are not responsible for your repression any longer. Get the fuck over yourselves. And white people, get the fuck over your guilt.

Want to see "modern day slavery?"

Look at this or this or this. Or this and this.

Streets of Detroit? Nope. Ghettos of Philadelphia? Nope. Mother fucking Africa, where blacks are repressing blacks daily.

Killing, raping, destroying. For what?

Sound familiar? Uh, can you say Compton?

Homboys on the streets of New Orleans or anywhere else in the USA don't have a fucking thing to complain about. EVERYTHING, EVERY OPPORTUNITY is right in front of them and others like them for the taking, but no, they'd rather be dumbass, ignorant, uneducated losers, selling crack, carrying a gat, filling their mouths with cheap gold, driving Impalas with 24" rims, living in squalor, talking a bastardized version of English that nobody can understand with their asses hanging out their pants and their dick and balls in their hands. Great choice assholes.

Every opportunity is there for you. You just gotta take the chance to be different and quit blaming the POOR CHOICES YOU MAKE ON PEOPLE LIKE ME.

I pay my dues and I receive the benefits. It's not because I'm white, it's because I am a reasonable and decent human being. I think that's all anyone wants anymore. At least I do. We should all do our best to contribute to society, not take away. What are you doing?

Fuck you and fuck your stupid bling. You deserve it.

Call me a racist if you like. Does it make you feel better? After you say it, why don't you go stare in the mirror for a few minutes. Are you a hater? Chances are. . .

Thanks Michelle for pissing me right off.

Oh and one more fine tidbit about Africa. This in Kenya. And you're worried about your fucking BBQ sandwiches. Pathetic.

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What Better Way To Start Your Monday. . .

than with a sun-worshiping, rambling, detached, racist moron??

You have to read it to believe it.

Yes, they, he, it prays for melanomas on white people.

Please stop by and tell them, he, it what you think about this ignorance.

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What Else. . .

can white people NOT do? I mean, we are already blamed for most of the world's ills, even some that no longer exist nor were our current generations involved in. Obviously, we're all racists and bigots. And since we are such a lowly, despicable group, there is one more thing that we can't do. . .we certainly can't imitate black people in comedy.

Read this gem by the Washington Post about Fred Armisen, who just happens to be white, and his potrayal of Barack Obama on Saturday Night Live.

A few select quotes from the article:

"[Lorne] Michaels said that the show auditioned "four to five" actors for the Obama role, including Thompson. And the winner, he says, was based on merit. "When it came down to it, I went with the person with the cleanest comedy 'take' on" Obama, Michaels said."

So what's wrong with selecting the best actor for a skit? Or does affirmitive action apply here too? Naturally, there is a sinister pattern of exclusion on SNL:

"The Obama portrayal has given critics a chance to make a second claim about "SNL": that it under-employs African American performers. When it began looking for someone to play Obama, the show had few alternatives. This season, "SNL" has only one black cast member, Kenan Thompson, who bears little resemblance to the tall, lanky senator. A biracial "SNL" veteran, Maya Rudolph, has not returned to the show since the strike began Nov. 5."

Man, this just reeks of hypocrisy! How many delightful comedic stars, who just happen to be black, have come through the ranks of SNL? Tim Meadows, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock. Any bells ringing?

And this:

Maureen Ryan of the Chicago Tribune put the question bluntly: "Call me crazy, but shouldn't 'Saturday Night Live's' fictional Sen. Barack Obama be played by an African-American?" Ryan went on to conclude: "I find 'SNL's' choice inexplicable. Obama's candidacy gives us solid proof of the progress that African-Americans have made in this country. I guess 'SNL' still has further to go on that front."

This has nothing to do with the progress of blacks in America. It has to do with COMEDY. And if the white guy did the best impression, then so be it. Sometimes people get rewarded for their performance, but we've lost sight of that in our 'entitlement' society.

So, what the hell is going to happen when Obama gets elected and political cartoonists start ripping him to shreds in the newspaper? Are cartoonists who happen to be black going to be the only ones who are allowed to draw a caricature of Barack? What if a cartoonist who happens to be white draws a cartoon depicting Obama with certain physical characteristics of some blacks like "nappy" hair or big lips? Is this something we can't do either because we don't "identify" with the culture of blacks?

You know what I don't identify with? Hypocrisy!

What about the movie White Chicks in which two stars, who just happen to be black, dress up as white girls and proceed to act ignorantly in stereotypical white fashion. Any outrage from Americans who just happen to be white? No. What if the producers of White Men Can't Jump made a movie called Black Men Can't Use A Condom? Do you think Americans who just happen to be black would be enraged?

On a related note, it's bad enough we have people talking about reviving the Fairness Doctrine because they feel talk radio is imbalanced toward conservatism in America and what they fail to realize it that the market is rewarding performance. Just as Mr. Armisen was rewarded for his "take" on Barack Obama.

To further drive home the hypocrisy against whites in America, I saw a gentleman, who happens to be black, on C-Span this weekend talking about Oneissimus. Oneissimus was a slave that is credited with providing the first effective smallpox antidote and as this speaker was reading some quotations about Oneissimus's demeanor he came across a couple of unusual words that he stumbled over. The one I remember was "froward" and he sorta giggled about that and the other even more complex adjective to which he remarked, "this sounds like black people speaking English." Sadly, the crowd laughed. Had a person, who just happens to be white, said that? Heaven help us all.

For what it's worth, I feel grateful that Obama has a real chance at becoming president. Hell, maybe the guy CAN bring change. . .or maybe like the rest of them, he'll undo the previous policies and fart around for four years screwing shit up until the next dope or dopette comes alongs to sweep it all in a pile and lets the bastard child of our sins, the governement, muck it all about the house again.

Oh and one more TINY fact, Barack Obama just happens to be half-WHITE!

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Quote Of The Day. . .

"I thought all that type stuff was gone."

Yeah, me too.

via The Clarion Ledger:

Authorities arrested a 52-year-old Jackson man Wednesday and accused him of setting fire to a cross at Freedom Corner in Jackson.

Bill Sanders, of 952 Ann Banks Street in Jackson, was arrested on one count of arson, said Jackson Fire Chief Vernon Hughes.

He said the arrest was made jointly by fire investigators and Jackson police. He said federal investigators have been called into the case and more charges may follow.

It was unclear why Sanders, who is black, allegedly set fire to the cross.

"We're not sure right now of his motive," said Hughes. "The only thing we know right now is he was looking for some sort of attention."

Firefighters responded to the intersection of Medgar Evers Boulevard and Martin Luther King Jr. Drive shortly after 10 a.m. That intersection is a few blocks from where Sanders lives.

Chief Hughes said investigators found a notebook at the scene of the cross burning that contained racial slurs. The notebook led to Sanders, though the chief did not want to be specific.

"The language he had in the notebook just had a lot of material dealing with race," Hughes said.

Said Hughes: "It's been a while since something like this has happened. I thought all that type stuff was gone."

I don't know what kind of ill will this guy was trying to stir up, but doesn't Jackson have ENOUGH problems without some yo-yo setting crosses aflame down in the ghetto?

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An Exercise In Bigotry. . .

In light of the current hypocrisy over the firing of Don Imus, rap music, double standards, etc., it occured to me that this simple exercise might help us get over our sensitivity to racial slurs, bigoted statements and encourage us as we "heal."

Take your favorite racial slur, such as the "N" word, "D" word, "L" word, "X" word or whatever you prefer most, and replace every noun with your selected slur in the next story that you relate to a family member, friend or co-worker.

In this example, I will replace the nouns with Honky only because it seems to be the least offensive of all slurs.

Yesterday, I went to the honky to buy some honkies. I looked all over the honkey for some honkies, but I couldn't find any. So, I asked the honky that worked there, "Hey Honky, where are all the honkies?" The honky said, "I'm sorry honky, but were all out of honkies." I said, "Damn honky! I really need some honkies. I've got to go to this honky with some honkies because there will be a lot of honkies there who want some honkies." He replied, "Honky, your just honky out of honky." I guess honkies are really popular these days, must be becuase it's honky.

Sticks and stones. . .

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