A Sign O' The Times. . .

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H/T: RoadHawg

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Kool-Aid Creepy. . .

Just when you thought the moonbats couldn't get any weirder, be pleased to know that there is always someone pushing the envelope of nueroses beyond anything Freud could have ever diagnosed.

Id satisfaction t0 the bizarro max.

Original article here courtesy of Catman on the LGF link generator.

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Good English Is Whitey's Language. . .

Quote of the day:

"I want to tell you, Detroit, that you done set me up for a comeback." - Kwame Kilpatrick only hours after his resignation and plea agreement today.

Man, I hope we ain't done did dat fo' him.

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The Re-Exodus. . .

This is I-55 yesterday just south of Byram as the entire planet returned to Louisiana at once. Even after repeated pleas by officials to not come back yet.

Bu-bye. Bu-bye. No really, bu-bye. Ok, fucking leave already! Be sure to watch the accom. . .accompan. . .the video attached to the article.

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Weather Update. . .

Although I am comfortably ensconced here in Egypt Hill the winds have begun to rise and sustain and there is worry.

I don't expect much ferocious weather this far north of the coast beyond the typical spinoff of tornadoes, heavy rain and winds, but we've prepared ourselves accordingly. Cuz you just never know, do you?

I wish the best for those people worst affected by Hurricane Gustav and may God bless and help them find their way through these difficult times.

Are there people wishing for the worst from this storm?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

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Lucky Duck. . .

Well, we (me) here at Burning Toast just had our 7,777th visitor and I was all prepared to overnight out a gallon of homemade shrimp and sausage gumbo to the proud winner of the 'Luckiest Visitor Ever' here at Burning Toast.

And just like at the 1000th and 2000th visitor mark, the winner was me.

Jesus, I need some advertising or something.

Hey Nils, I got an idea for that new anchor tattoo, buddy.

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Another Democrap Email. . .

Again Thunderbird is correct. This email IS junk.

Oooohhhh, that oh-so-evil Karl Rove!! His influence is just EVERYWHERE!! Run!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

But before you go, could you loan me a fiver??

Sheesh.

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Make It Count. . .

Considering casting a vote for Obama this November? Feeling all hopey and changey?

Maybe you should consider a few facts about Obama's past and his socialist leanings before you cast the vote that will help end the 200 years of democracy America has enjoyed.

Thanks to The Big Feed and Investor's Business Daily.

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Seriously???

I received this email from Howard Dean and the Democratic National Committee a few days ago and largely ignored it because, well do I really have to explain? Just look who it's from.

I guess what really irritates me is that my business email address is relatively new and virtually unknown outside of my business contacts within the construction industry. I'd like to know how I got on the mailing list for the DNC.

However, after reading the subject line of this email I could not stop laughing for several minutes.

Literally.

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For those of you who don't regularly keep up with conservative blogs, check here, here and here for the beginning of a very long running joke about Barracks Alabaster.

Democrats are unbelievably stupid. And they want to run our country. I am afraid.

Oh and one other thing, Thunderbird is exactly right, this is a scam.

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Oh Really?

What do we need to do? What do we need to do?

Nancy Pelosi is a real piece of work. This "lady" has got the gall to get on television and declare that President Bush is a "total failure."

Nancy, have you checked the polls lately? Can you even read whole numbers? The last time I checked, an 18% approval rating (you and Congress) is lower than a 28% approval rating (Bush). Did you get that?

18 is LESS than 28.

Are you mad because of this? Watch that temper!

Listen quite closely and you'll understand why we are in the mess we are.

Stupid Girl.

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It's All About The Mathematicals. . .

The Law of Unintended Consequences times the Inverse Proportionality of Perceived Intelligence Quotient equals the Law of Diminishing Returns.

In other words, politicians are an ignorant lot and we are all paying the price. Exponentially.

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Gentlemen. . .

excuse me, sirs? You're really not contributing anything positive to this ever worsening situation.


water works
biloxi, mississippi - july 2008

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Is Anyone Surprised By This?

Blacks can't eat BBQ at Juneteenth celebrations in Texas and clearly it's nothing but pure, simple, old-fashioned, "modern-day slavery."

Well slap my balls and call me Jimmy! Boo fucking hoo!

Whites are not responsible for your repression any longer. Get the fuck over yourselves. And white people, get the fuck over your guilt.

Want to see "modern day slavery?"

Look at this or this or this. Or this and this.

Streets of Detroit? Nope. Ghettos of Philadelphia? Nope. Mother fucking Africa, where blacks are repressing blacks daily.

Killing, raping, destroying. For what?

Sound familiar? Uh, can you say Compton?

Homboys on the streets of New Orleans or anywhere else in the USA don't have a fucking thing to complain about. EVERYTHING, EVERY OPPORTUNITY is right in front of them and others like them for the taking, but no, they'd rather be dumbass, ignorant, uneducated losers, selling crack, carrying a gat, filling their mouths with cheap gold, driving Impalas with 24" rims, living in squalor, talking a bastardized version of English that nobody can understand with their asses hanging out their pants and their dick and balls in their hands. Great choice assholes.

Every opportunity is there for you. You just gotta take the chance to be different and quit blaming the POOR CHOICES YOU MAKE ON PEOPLE LIKE ME.

I pay my dues and I receive the benefits. It's not because I'm white, it's because I am a reasonable and decent human being. I think that's all anyone wants anymore. At least I do. We should all do our best to contribute to society, not take away. What are you doing?

Fuck you and fuck your stupid bling. You deserve it.

Call me a racist if you like. Does it make you feel better? After you say it, why don't you go stare in the mirror for a few minutes. Are you a hater? Chances are. . .

Thanks Michelle for pissing me right off.

Oh and one more fine tidbit about Africa. This in Kenya. And you're worried about your fucking BBQ sandwiches. Pathetic.

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And You're Waiting On???

Susan Sarandon says she's going to move to Canada or Italy should John McCain become President of the United States.

Susan, how do I speak in clear, concise language that you will have no trouble understanding?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Bu-Bye! See ya later alligator! After while crocodile! Hasta luego! Ciao! Sayonara! Adios! Güle güle! Maajaan! Herago! Tata!

And since I'm in a musical mood today. . .here's some more easily understandable language:

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And It Only Gets Worse. . .

Mandated lifeguards for kiddie pools.

You say "shit", I say "No shit."

Thank you God of Randomness that I don't live there. I would have long ago blown my brains out.

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How Does This Happen??

Once again, I must question the intelligence of voters from California. They continue to re-elect idiots like Maxine Waters over and over and over.

Dear old Maxine has a simple solution for the high price of oil and gas. And it's a doozy!

Click HERE to see.

Maxine, I have a First Class One-Way airline ticket to Venezuela anytime you are ready.

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Continued Disappointment. . .

I read an article last night that the UN is finally going to convene in an emergency summit to discuss the situation in Burma. Well, it's about time. How many days has it been now? And still I ponder, "where is the outrage?"

Other than a nightly drift on the evening news, it's been up to the bloggers to keep the story at the forefront, where is surely needs to be!

This makes me sick.

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No Coffee Needed. . .

This is how I woke up this morning: seeing a dumb driver, yapping on a cell phone, trying to merge into traffic between two tandem-axle dump trucks hauling thousands of pounds of sand at 75 miles per hour.





Thanks for trying to kill us all you stupid bitch.

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Got Bail???

Maybe you remember a few months ago when I introduced you to a friend of Nils named Fabrice Differdange.

I haven't seen Fabrice since I was first introduced to him when he entertained all of us with his catalogue of gay animal husbandry diddies. But this weekend I will see him again as he is hosting the "First Annual Ferrel Fest" at his home in a quiet and well-to-do gated community.

I have been informed that there will be live music, adult beverages, foodstuffs, women, men, animals, power tools and more than likely, police.

I, for one, am looking forward to the potential disaster that this may become. It's not that I'm a "pooh-pooh Sally" and don't want to have a good time, it's that I'm a realist. I know Nils and I know Fabrice. SOMETHING will happen.

To celebrate what I am calling "The First Annual Go To Jail Fest" I created the flyer below for the party.


Hey, you're invited too!

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Dear Congress. . .

You, with the exception of a very select few, suck big, hairy and sweaty baboon balls. Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi especially.

Sincerely,
A Disgruntled American Voter

Reading crap like THIS, where Harry Reid is opposing a moratorium on Congressional earmarks, aka big, greasy, gotcha-in-my-back-pocket pork barrel spending projects, just really burns me up.

I'm incendiary-like. On fi-ya!

And then, when my friends email me a video such as the one below. . .I get a slow burn right down at the base of my dum animal brain that leaves me with nothing but unadulterated rage and an itch to grow a prehensile tail so I can move back to Madagascar.

Who are these people running our country? Did we elect these dopes on ropes? Did we? Really? Does this mean that WE are stoopid too? Lord Almighty hep us all!






Kinda pisses ya right off, doesn't it?

Reid and Pelosi zipped around after the last election when the Democrats took over things in Congress like a couple of rabid fruit flies on a 10 day meth bender. We're gonna do this, we gonna change that, we gonna work longer, we're gonna. . .we're gonna. . .hey, we're in power, we ain't doin' shit!

Word on the street is they won't pass anything of importance until they get a more favorable person in the White House. Somehow this stinks like green cheese. Aren't we paying these motorheads to do stuff NOW? But instead, they feel comfortable enough to fart around like a bunch of slapdicks and do nothing?

What the hell have you people done in the last year and a half? Named a few fucking post offices? Well, holy shit! God only knows we need to waste more time and money doing that! Fuck!

How about we do something more to get our collective mouth off the oil titty of the Middle East? That sounds like a great idea, doesn't it? Remember the last oil crisis? Where did our petroleum dollars go? Right into the pockets of the people that hate us most!

We need to drill oil now. Here! We have plenty of it!

Yet, loonball, leftwing, flitterturds are entirely too worried about the seven-toed, one-eyed, blind, hooter frog to give a crap that all of our hard earned money goes right into the pockets of the people that want to see us DEAD! That's just great.

Hey, here's a good poll question for Americans: Who is more evil? Al Qaeda, who flew planes into buildings resulting in 3000+ deaths and the people that support them or Exxon Mobil. I shudder at the potential results.

Listen up world! When it all goes to hell in a hand-basket and some Allah-fearing, "conditioned" individual finally sets off some device that renders your metro area uninhabitable for a few thousand years, it will be us, the right wing of America, with our guns (lots of guns) and our ignorant ways who will protect you. And let me tell you, you won't be giving a shit about the variegated, fluttering, one-nosed, moose twit bird.

Maybe, just maybe, we'll take care of you. If we feel like it.

I am Burnt Toast and I approved this vulgarity-laced message.

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